You got paid to write this. I don’t know who should have more trouble looking in the mirror, your bosses for writing the check or you for cashing it.

I’m hoping he goes pro and leads to a trend for children to be named after household electronic brands. We could never afford Sony growing up, but I totally could have been named Zenith. I look very forward to drafting a fantasy team of RCA, Magnavox, and Sanyo. Well, and Tom Brady, because he’ll still be playing…

Big Lots. Have you ever been to a Big Lots? Everyone there has a glassy-eyed, zombified expressing that says “I’ve given up”as the put boxes of expired junk food in their orange cart.

Oh for Chrissakes... wanna know why Deadspin’s audience is declining similarly to ESPN’s? Get off your soapbox. Maybe hire a few people from the Midwest that also know sports and are capable of writing an article without a political slant. Here’s a clue, Tom: Not everyone is a bearded Northeasterner.

Anything that will keep you from writing, Albert, I’m okay with. I will sleep easily tonight knowing your father is incredibly disappointed in you.

How lovely. Vile cunts blog about why they want to vote for a vile cunt.