I was a Female, navy petty officer , on a submarine tender way back in 1990. One day while I was talking to an older sailor, he told me the reason women can't be on subs is becuase their flows produce too much trash.

So I suspect that Skinny Girl Marijuana will make you too paranoid to eat heavy meals.

The last time I saw someone this excited about something with 50-50 odds was when I chose the fish option at my cousin's wedding and it ended up being lobster pie. I cried real garlic butter tears.

Most excessive showering is due to shame, not ethnicity.

Harpies is kind of harsh bro.

Yeah, Mr. Genuinely Nice Dude, I think based on the profound cluelessness and narcissism of your initial message, no one is going to be surprised (or disappointed) that you've flounced rather than learning anything.

I know this is unsolicited, but please tread lightly with your girlfriend and examine why it is you're trying to convince her. She doesn't NEED to wear makeup, but people do all kinds of things they don't strictly NEED to all the time, every single day. Why single out makeup in particular? Does it make her happy? Is…

I'm just going to come up in here and brag about my student loan payment of $250 a month. And I went to law school. American law school!

I was thinking the same thing. But it's cute Kenya thinks Lupita would be anything but unbothered by her tweet. The #girlbye goes to you, Kenya boo.

Is there free pizza? If you want college kids to join up with you you HAVE to offer free pizza

Conchita Wurst is a goddamn delight.

The bride's hair is also the most Texas story of all time.

"To automatically to be lumped into that category of a gang... that hits a little close to home for us, because that isn't our intent at all," Strobl said.

This is a little off-topic, but... I had a friend who showed up to my father's funeral wearing jeans and work boots. Because that's what he wears for his job. He took his lunch break two hours early so he could come and pay his respects and I thought it was lovely. He made an effort to be there for my family and we…

Definitely not siding with the NYPD here, but that suit is hideous.

These appear to be the pants. She was probably wearing the matching jacket beneath the coat.

Capsule form. At least she is semi-sane. Hoffmann might as well be whipping up some ragu.