I wonder if he would have still ended up on Parks and Rec if he landed the Kirk role. Cause if it came down to the two, I think being deprived of Andy Dwyer would have been the bigger loss to me, and the world. But more me.

From now until the end of time, he is the very first Star-Lord in movies. No one can take that away from him, and everyone after will be compared to him. Not a bad gig for a young actor.

Was I the only person that saw Ash immediately? Also, I really should get back to work.

Yes, but it's not that easy for a black guy in Florida to stand his ground.

Dimestore psychoanalysis is actually the only type of mental health treatment covered under the Affordable Care Act FYI.

LOL dude consults his wife on major life choices WHAT A FUKKIN TOOOOOL

MSG Network milked that song so hard in promos when the Knicks traded/decimated their roster for Carmelo. Happy sloppy seconds, LeBron!

Did anyone else want the stamp on the back to read:

Danger
Bears!
No, Really! Bears!

New kinja: Where everyone thinks they're super clever and funny by criticizing an article by linking to the original article

Nice work. And when you're done here, go shammy Mr. Simmons' car out in the lot.

Up next the inside story on how deadspin landed the story about how SI landed the story about LeBron James' story .

Don't blame the owl, there's no such thing as a direct flight to Cleveland.

You could say his expression is quite viral. Or is it bacterial?

T-shirt and a blazer? Really Drew? Were you on there pitching a .com startup?

Caps Locks

Jesus Christ, how much is Fox Sports 1 hurting if they ask Drew Magary to come on to talk soccer? How long did it take him to start ranting about a bunch of sissies kicking the ball around all in the service of BIG ORANGE SLICE?

I miss Fat Drew.

Drew, were you nervous to be seen by tens of people?