One Weird Trick: I get as high as a vulture before going over there, and then I just laugh my entire ass off. Sometimes, I do dramatic readings of the comments out loud to myself. Cheap entertainment!

couldnt these people just travel by yacht? i dont see the problem

Well, it’s after 5 somewhere in the world. Nazdorovye!

Hey, calm the hell down! The free hand of the market will safely land all these planes, especially without unpaid government workers who can’t afford child care or commuter costs!

Air traffic controllers not turning up in Atlanta during the run-up to Super Bowl weekend would end it.

“Mr. President.....someone’s at the door. Probably the berders!”

She paid $233 WITH INSURANCE? I’m flabberghasted at how utterly FUCKED the system is at perceiving who is committing which crimes in this story!

What you should have done in that situation is make out with your husband at the table.  Like really go at it. 

But Brock Turner got no jail time for raping an unconscious woman. Good old American Justice. 

The real slogan is Build the Wall OR Trump will Fall. Trump is desperate to deliver something to placate his base.

“Peasants”, “Comrade”, “Cowards”... all good options.

“I recently said, “Ladies go first,”...”

“Have a star, you fuckwit”.

I prefer gender neutral terms.

WhaT iS yOur proBlem wiTh raNdOm CapItaLs?

“Zuckerberg apparently killed the goat by stunning it with a stun gun, and then knifing it, and then sending it to a butcher.”

I have a pretty good guess where to find your ass afterwards.

Is it wrong that I think it’s actually a thing more people should experience? We as a society consume more meat than ever, but how many people have actually seen, never mind been a part of, the process? I’m not saying everyone who sees a cow butchered will turn into a vegetarian (it didn’t turn me into one), but it…

In this new gilded age of oligarchy and wealth gap we should be happy it was not a poor child.