I thought so too.

I swear this was at one point being released by Criterion but extensive googling says I’m wrong. Hmm.

I feel like claiming a friendship with Meatloaf speaks of a certain level of self-loathing. 

“At the time I thought the whole thing was slightly uncomfortable but hilarious and harmless, but in retrospect I’m terrified for younger me and all the women in their 20s who came before and after me, as they were the only roommates he’d accept.”

I’m totally doxxing myself with this story but whatever. My worst roommate inspired an episode of Law and Order SVU. She was assigned to me my freshman year of college based on some questionnaire we had to fill out during the summer. To this day I am disturbed that some computer algorithm though we would be a good…

This is amazing.

She had lice and didn’t tell us until... well, you know how that all shook out. Refused to bathe during the winter months. Claimed a friendship with Meatloaf, and hung in our dorm window her dead, taxidermied pet parrot in its cage.

Counterpoint, he was an athlete, and 6' 5" too.

It was a Pizza Hut pizza. ‘Nuff said.

Yes, we are all Burgess Meredith in that Twilight Zone episode. We just need to make sure our glasses don’t break.

There’s like a dozen major porn sites, and each one has more porn than any person could watch in a lifetime.

So say we all.

“You can keep performing, the hand can stay inside the butthole.”

Dear Nobody:

I’m sorry to say that my favorite Nazi porn is the Home Improvement porn spin-off, “Sieg Al”. Does that make me a Karnivore? None of the actors fell from the show are in it, but their identical twins are.

For my upcoming orgy, is it OK to build a swastika out of dildos?

I think her Nazi porn fetish went a little fuher than she thought it would. 

It’s time for Savage Nobody! The advice column for all your Nazi porn questions!

This is the best kind of extra.

I moved into an apartment with a friend I’d known online and met irl for a few different weekends back when I used to play yugioh. He’d masturbate on the couch in broad daylight, even if I was in the apartment but not in the living room, never shared in the cleaning of the apartment, and expected me to cook for him if…