It's funny that they are trying to paint Dean as a sex addict now. When he was cheating with Tori it was because they were soul-mates who just happened to be married to other people at the time. Now that he's cheating on Tori he's a sex addict. Go figure.

If I accomplish nothing else tomorrow, I am going to refer to someone as a "batfinkel duck turkey." Consider it done.

obviously. It's not going to blow itself, and I will be damned if microphones go unfellated on my watch.

I HATE that Dean is the host of Chopped Canada. Like, really, food network canada? I would literally prefer ANYONE else.

Your obese neighbours probably live-cam that shit and have thousands of fans worldwide.

This is a genuine comment on the E! Emma Stone article:

He has always seemed like the skeeviest skeeze.

I'm really unclear on this whole notion of a thing you chose to do because it felt good at the time being your worst nightmare. I mean, when I was pregnant I would have nightmares that I forgot I was pregnant and got off-my-ass drunk, or (one terrible night) that I was about to give birth and suddenly remembered that…

SOMETIMES DEAN JUST FALLS INTO OTHER WOMEN'S VAGINAS, ALRIGHT??!

Tori says:

I know, right? Mary Jo Eustace is probably having a cocktail and laughing her ass off at Ms. Spelling for actually thinking it wouldn't happen to her, too.

woooo!

Lily Allen changing her act because she had babies is why I get sad when people have babies. I know this makes me an asshole, but damn it. No more pretending to blow the mic during the song about not getting off? Oh, the horrors. Someday her kids are going to find out that they were made by fucking, I wonder if her…

"That's my worst nightmare, I cheated on my wife,"

hi selena, i have no experience but i think i would make a great manager. mainly i would keep you away from the devil child that is your (current? ex?) boyfriend. i think that will solve a lot of your problems <3

The trimmed edge of the green is also mysteriously absent JUST in the area between her legs. It's shopped (I do this for a living, so it was the first thing I looked for.)

Yes, that photo looks weird and unnatural.

The thing that gets me is this (ass-covering) statement tries to make it understandable. They thought he was the stabber. They thought he was "lunging" at the victim. Ok fair enough cops, I'm with you so far. But they shot both of them. Let me just repeat that. They shot both men. The one who supposedly looked like…

This is awful. I'm so sorry for his family and friends.