“Mickey Mouse, Superman, Fantastic Four, Dick Tracy, Spiderman, Lucky Luke, Judge Dread, Clever and Smart, Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles, Batman: All cops are bastards, barbecue their dicks”

This is blasphemy! Everybody knows that Spiderman should be a story about getting an assault rifle superpowers and bringing them to school to kill beat up bullies and make women pay attention to you.

“The Assassin’s Creed games don’t appear from nowhere. They’re made by people who are making choices” - hard hitting games journalism, for sure. 

“It’s going to be a fun 24 hours seeing the takes focus on Serena’s emotional response to all of this instead of a new generation of talent” - like... the take you just decided to write?

As a non-player but someone who has ever heard of science fiction it seems a little silly to say that you are gearing up to take a mysterious journey into uncharted space in a galaxy that is at war, and then complain that the result turned out to be unexpected and dangerous.

Good sleuthing, Encyclopedia! And what’s even more fishy, the women claimed to have been visiting church, which checks out except for the fact that there is no God! This whole case stinks, chief!

Too bad they had to take out all those puddles to make space for the musical touches :(

I’m surprised that that’s the only physical injury with that amount of flailing.

Never forget, Gordon Freeman fucks bran muffins. Canon.

So will this finally be the holiday where the internet is all about Patlabor?

I realize that they put enough signs into the scene to give you a plausible reason to assume that it was thought out carefully, and I realize that there’s no stopping you if want to assume that all those signs were accidentally written into the script, and they happen to coincide with core laziness in the rest of the…

“The devs were clear that the story of Anthem is always going to revolve around the player, though, and that”... that’s fine, I wasn’t very interested in that sentence either. 

So I guess they’ll report on that when the next big Mia Farrow movie is coming out? So.... 2011? Until then, sit the hell down.

As long as it doesn’t get in the way of your lifelong dream to figure out punctuation I guess that’s fine.

You ridiculous goddamn cartoon of an American I love you. On behalf of the Australo-Prussalian empire, you have my thanks.

Unlike other countries that don’t actually check your Visa?

So you will fix government by defunding its basic functions? A most American solution indeed, but perhaps you could consider also putting a gun on it? Anywhere is good.

That’s extremely rude. Dominaria is not a shithole.

Their Visas were incorrectly labeled as sorceries and couldn’t be played on ICE’s turn.

“I refuse to accept them as a fellow human”... what do you see them as? Ghosts? Ball bearings? No person who has ever committed an offense has made ‘every effort’ to make amends, because you can’t. There’s always more that could be done. Your world must be pretty devoid of humans; just you and your asinine high bar.