Dear Movie Directors:

I can't even look at Sam Claflin's name, let alone his picture, without screaming "THAT IS NOT FINNICK!!!!!" really loud. In my head, mostly, but really loud.

I wonder what would have happened if instead of verbally attacking, the woman at the fence had just said, screw it. It's a freaking plant.

Belts were actually an early '70s thing, I think. I didn't use them, and I started in the late '70s. And I think I read that Judy Blume actually changed that part of the book in later editions to reflect the change from belts to stick-ons.

Thank you! I was sure I knew that, but then I started thinking - if the Goddess of Goop does it, it must be right! Right?

I have to say, I've never understood the theory about how juicing your food is so great. Haven't nutritionists been saying for years that if you just drink the fruit juice, you're getting all the calories with none of the health benefits - no fiber, way fewer vitamins, etc. Am I crazy?? (don't answer that....)

This port is really weird for me to read for two reasons: first, because I am so not obsessed about my age that I frequently forget exactly how old I am and secondly, because I've had this feeling for decades now that I'm going to die at age 60.

Ummm... my frenemy from down the block and I did an amazing choreographic interpretation of Tom Lehrer's "Vatican Rag." Does that count?

I was suppose to be Sarah, but my frickin' cousin named her daughter that a year and a half before I was born. So I ended up Eliza, which I changed about twenty years ago. Not that it's not a perfectly nice name, but there only so much of one's life that can be spent being called "Liza Minelli." Just ugh.

I'm thinking there might be a "Louis" in there for Earl Mountbatten. But I would love an Arthur.

Sometimes I sing this to her and sometimes I just shout it as loud as I possibly can:

Obviously, you have never tasted the perfection that is diet RC Cola. I first discovered this nectar of the Gods when I worked in an ad agency they used, and they had only RC products in the vending machines.

I believe someone said in another post that what she did was "replace the bride" at some point. As in, everyone turns around to see the bride make her entrance, and surprise! There's a fat black woman! Funny, huh?

Why does it upset me that the point of this joke seems to be that there's NO WAY someone like Jimmy would even THINK of marrying someone like Gabby? I just... this is more sad to me than anything. And yes, even if Gabby is in on the joke, it's still sad.

I applaud the radio hosts for their outrage at the events which occurred, but the boyfriend didn't "allow them to have sex" with her; he let them rape her. Use the correct terminology, please - it's important. This isn't just about sex; it's about their power over her as well.

If those two incorrect apostrophes ("dads," plural, not "dad's", dad is) are not removed immediately, I will be forced to contact the Grammar Police, and we all know what THAT means...

OK, maybe I have to go back and re-watch this movie. The only messages I remember getting from this movie were along the lines of "men are even better at being women than women are," "it takes a man to show women how to be women," and "I wasn't good enough to make it as a man, but I was so much better than all those…

Proper response: No! You got your Deadspin in my Jezebel!

Sounds about right to me. A bunch of random tats just looks like the remains of too many drunken escapades.

Is it weird that I have a "tipping point" for tats? There just seems to be a point at which I say, they're nice and all, but just too much. Not that this guy isn't hotness personified, but just a tad too inked up for me.