Well, if it seriously threatened to lay waste to Earth’s biosphere and end civilization as we know it, I’m guessing Americans would elect it President.

What I love is that the bear mauls that box exactly as slowly and methodically as it would maul any of us humans, and for the same reason: because it’s fucking fun!

Even after breaking the box down, the bear still hasn’t found what he’s looking for.

I mean, they are kind of like a snowflake. They’re white, and cold, and if you get a lot of them together, they shut down public schools.

That one was a burner. A Bunsen burner, even.

For the record, I wouldn’t come to Deadspin if it was only sports. I enjoy good writing and comedy on multiple topics.

In general I completely agree with you, but in this case these bears are living at a place called Orphaned Wildlife Center, which appears to be a small wildlife rehab place that has some resident bears that can’t be released back into the wild for a variety of reasons. I don’t know anything about them personally, but…

Since that box says U2 on it, it is even better than the real thing.

Bears love boxes.

+ / - 1 ?

The bear just confirmed that the cat is fucking dead.

There’s a reason it is not spelled ‘cardbored’.

It took that bear a full 3 minutes to flatten that box. That’ll be encouraging next time I’m jumping up and down on an Amazon box at 7am in the morning.

awww, we’ve finally found someone who doesn’t mind the way Amazon ships a flash drive.

Enough with the lab inventory. Pipette down already.

The wings were good as usual and my well done stake was done right for once and the service was pretty good EXCEPT I made a pretty funny joke asking when the waitrest came to check on us by saying she could have some of my beef if she wanted (lol) and even though every1 at the table was cracking up and was giving me…

Did you mean, “John Smih”? I.e., the guy who can’t even type his own name right.

You misspelled “GIT”

You are fucking idiot

I mean, like Brady would even fucking apologize for that to begin with.