It's way worse. I had to combine the strawberry and blueberry syrups onto a single goddamn pancake.

Anybody ever notice that they have 4 syrup varieties at IHOP, but they don't offer any meals that come with 4 pancakes? Seems like a real missed opportunity.

If there's one thing TV producers are concerned with, it's accurately portraying the finer points of the U.S. legal system.

And a "Yonger Novel Emoji Women Bags Fashion Men's Canvas Mobile Backpack" for $13.95?? Sold!

If?

F5 key makers HATE him!

I managed to pull up the Tolerability Index while there were still 7 comments. However, since I just wait for somebody else to say something interesting and then just build off of that, I don't really have anything to say yet. Usually it takes about 10 minutes of refreshing, though, so at least I got to avoid that.

I've yet to find a way to successfully communicate to the sandwich artists that I just want a tiny bit of mayo. It's always this huge splooge of mayo, and my sandwich is passed own the line before I can even say anything.

Well the directions don't say not to randomly click on 37 unrelated functions…

I also had to use considerable willpower to prevent myself from screaming "Left clicking is the goddamn default action on your mouse! Stop asking me every single time if you left click or right click!"

George is probably dead. You should just go ahead and tell them that.

For a while, I had a job that often involved senior citizens and paperwork that needed to be completed in electronic format. Somehow they could check the correct box on a paper form, but when presented with the exact same options in the exact same order on their computer, it "just doesn't make sense" and "it…

In fairness to Trump, he has gone on record as not liking Cosby. However, Trump being Trump, he had to insinuate that his reasons for not liking Cosby were not related to all the raping, which was the only plausible "specific reason" anybody at the time would have when he said this:

But the end of Breaking Bad was a dream! How else can you explain why the show didn't spend its entire last hour meticulously detailing how Walt set up all the relatively inconsequential details of his final plan?

I had the best score in my car when I rode that. My life has been all downhill since. I'll never be able to recapture that high.

I was always more partial to the "pretend to be really interested in the items in the next section over until you're sure nobody else is around" method.

I love the original European versions of Disney fairy tales. They tend to have far less cute woodland creatures and far more maiming. In college I had to read Aschenputtel (Cinderella). If I recall correctly, one of the step-sisters cut off part of her foot so she could fit it inside the glass slipper. It almost…

I'm a people-pleaser. It's a real problem of mine.

*looks around nervously*…Yes. That's definitely what that smell is.

Coach McGuirk: All right, listen up, that was a good game. We all showed up, and I'm proud of that.