My friend burst out laughing at that awkward final "Nooooooo!" from Darth Vader.

I had to stop reading the reviews for that show a while back because I kept laughing out loud at my desk just from thinking about all the jokes that got mentioned. I guess I could have just read them on my own free time, but that would be ridiculous.

What can I say about this post that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan? It looks bombed out and depleted.

Twitter, ordinarily I'd say you should stand up for what you believe in. But you've been doing that an awful lot lately.

All those people who claim they "always" see poor (i.e. black) people buying all sorts of fancy things with food stamps at their grocery stores always made me roll my eyes. Either you're lying or you're trying way too hard to pry into other people's business. I was a cashier almost 20 years ago and we were already…

I guess I probably shouldn't mention Abby Cadabby's Flying Fairy School, then.

In the episodes that air on Sprout (which I think are from around 2008 or so) he's essentially the MC of the show. He introduces the letter and number of the day and tells the kids what segments are coming up next.

As someone whose daughter absolutely lost her shit when we had the audacity to show her a newer episode that didn't end with Murray saying "Peace!", I'm sure this change will go over wonderfully.

I would like to take this opportunity to express my fondness for that particular genitalia.

I bet those people who lost the heroin trademark are really kicking themselves right now.

Sometimes I wonder how people ever identified who was an asshole before the internet.

Is this a good place to tell you guys about how I make a ton of money doing simple Google tasks? I'm talking brand new Lotus Elan money!

Don't worry about it, buddy. I have no earthly idea how I managed to land a wife, but I certainly recognize how lucky I am. Everything (besides this) was meant in jest. Good luck with the meet-up.

I've certainly been trying my best to get rid of any excess friends in my life. Got a few dead-enders that I haven't managed to shake off yet.

Thank you for including a lurker/occasional commenter such as myself. Unfortunately, I will almost certainly be unable to attend, since most nights I have to get home to take care of the kids while the wife does some work. Plus, there's the whole crippling social anxiety thing. Good luck with the organizing though.

Alexandria is for suckers. You should come down to Prince William County. We have this really awesome new restaurant called TGI Fridays. Also, you can say "I don't want to go to that Walmart. Let's go to the good Walmart."

My computer mouse randomly registers single clicks as double clicks. I contacted IT to get it fixed/replaced, but they aren't treating me being inconvenienced by my mouse with the urgency or seriousness it deserves. It's basically the worst thing that can happen to a person.

Only if it actually celebrates members of the upper class that insist that they're in the middle class.

Any chance you could explain your perceived insult like an adult?

Well that's the whole problem. Nobody is fucking him. Even after he pretended to be friends with a woman. If that's not worth some sex, I don't know what is.