My former girlfriend said that she was "retarded." Nine months later, she was right.

Next time on "Chris Cornell's Whine Time": Yelling at Teenagers on His Lawn—How Hard Do You Shake Your Fist?

Careful, Sean. Dane's interpretation of a mud pack might involve chainsaw pooping on your face.

Dane Cook's response:

Whitney Cummings: the go-to person for crappy entertainment.

O'Reilly later gave up "brother" status when a police officer pulled him over for being in a rich neighborhood.

"Sensing that this news had shattered the boy's heart and left him
vulnerable to the darkness, Marcia Cross unhinged her jaw and swallowed
him whole."

In the wake of the personal tragedy that has taken place, maybe we can shed some light on a topic that desperately needs to be discussed:

This one finds life to be hard:

I didn't understand one word of Arnold Schwartznegger's in Batman and Robin, but the overall idea was conveyed: Batman and Robin was a shitty movie.

http://i3.photobucket.com/a…

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Die, Chipmunks, Die

Target and other retailers saw fit to promote this album in their new releases at a sale price; meanwhile, I found two copies of "Undun" by The Roots stashed away for full price.

What will men watch now while drinking Dr. Pepper Ten?

You're welcome, America.

YES! Reigning Sound and Go! Team love!

"FOX News: Fair and Balanced—and we're referring to the names of Gretchen Carlson's breasteses."

It's official: this year's Super Bowl halftime entertainment is going to be FAAA-bulous!

But when are they going to fave the inevitable irrelevance residency?

D-: The gentleman's "fuck you."