"No one can combine above-it-all arrogance with total cluelessness quite like Stephen Metcalf"

I went to a nerdy boarding school and we watched a hell of a lot of crime procedurals (mostly SVU and CSI). I've mostly grown out of it, but judging from Facebook posts, my friends who never got laid in college still watch the shit out of things like NCIS.

Totally worth it if this version produces more also-ran Eurovision contestants.

Baked potatoes =  aforkable

I get all my TV on the internet. Yes, I am part of the problem. But I watch 2-3 hours a day, though much of it while doing other stuff.

I should have listened to Todd. I watched 10 minutes of this shitshow and then turned to a rerun of 5th season House, which is 1000x better than Mario Lopez.

I'd watch a reality show that tested how long people could endure in the same room as Mario Lopez. At least one episode.

Probably not as terrible a person as Joe Francis!

Isn't that show called, "Undercover Boss"?

Yeah, the millions who had to rush to the front lines to protect their homes when Stalin's theory that Hitler was a stand-up fellow fell through kinda were acting in self-defense.

Just be glad Seacrest wasn't the closeted douchebag to produce this one or it would be shoved down our gullets so far we'd be begging to get the Kardashians back.

I demand more monocles.

I find The Doctors strangely watchable. Of course, that may be because it's on at 5 PM here, so I'm hungry, making dinner, and there's nothing else on. Two of them are plastic surgeons (I think), which explains that.

Librium is also used to stabilize the body's vitals during alcohol detox. It's an old-school benzodiazepine tranq that doesn't play well with alcohol.

Each season has gone down and down in pizzazz. Even if Christian ended up working with Payless, he had a point of view on the show that was fun to watch play out. At this point, they may as well rebrand the show as, "Project Target Runway-look Coopter."

Boring sportswear is worth that much?

I think it's fucking hilarious that Mel Gibson is adapting a story about fundamentalist Jews. The Maccabees were like bloodthirsty Lubovitchers.

I probably would have given the win to Viktor, but eh. Call me optimistic, but I always assume that in person, there might be construction issues that I missed.

Bert's an old fart, but he's likable enough. I like 'em cranky, but not out and out bitchy. Reality show contestants, I mean.

That flies in the face of everything I know about Project Runway. Attractive, talented women who aren't moms in the final? Bah.