I like grackles! They have personality.

That rich and mighty master ain't getting his fastest horse back, is he?

It might be BLACK BLOOD OF THE EARTH (not to be confused with petroleum, naturally).

The proud costermongers of Whitechapel want to 'ave a word with you, guvnor!

It also seems strikingly stupid. But I'll readily admit that I don't really "get" superhero conventions.

So here in pot-friendly Colorado, Totino Pizza Rolls are running a bus campaign that says something like "stock up before you forget" which I think basically boils down to: "we know you guys only like these when you're stoned—- but BOY you do guys like these when you're stoned!"

Okay, but is it CARVED or melted and cast? Because fuck the latter.

She's thinking of a meteorite dildo, isn't she?

I don't want to live in a solar system without Uranus jokes!

Depends… are you a real vogon?

Co-signed.

That way madness lies.

Now that I know he's a wizard, those pants start making more sense.

I still feel like I truly don't understand how a person (like many did) voted for Obama twice, then Trump. November's election was the first time I had the feeling that I had absolutely no fucking idea what was going on in our country, and possibly no one else did either. I wouldn't mind hearing some "cuck" and…

Hold up now. We are NOT ceding delicious vanilla ice cream to the white nationalists.

That owl-person has a sword over its shoulder, but I swear both times I've glanced at it I've only seen the sword grip near its beak and thought it was a microphone. It's crooning its way down the road.

The pooping bookshelf is where you keep your field guides: birds, mushrooms, wildflowers, weeds. It's the perfect time to look up that weird thing growing in the backyard.

Now you're on the right track! But he's not powerful enough to be a full-blown vampire. He's more like Dracula's little scuttling, bug-eating minion, who's name I'm currently blanking on.

Or perhaps to bring us all a message of universal love via beautiful nastification.

So. Many. Perms.