I sell life insurance, folks. Let me help you deal with this shit. You're gonna die, and most likely soon. The world's a fucked up mess. DM my twitter if you're really scared.

Failed comedians love it because it, like they, are terrible.

The baby murderer?!

The Nazi?!

Snark aside, I'm glad some governing entity on the world stage is taking the reins as a leader now that America has bumblefucked ourselves towards irrelevancy. Corporations are entities that should be held in check. Their only check is government, and their only goal is profit. People are irrelevant. People are a…

Is he the actual alien baby from 2001?

When I took French, "Deez Nuts" was still a thing. I still can't say "nineteen" in French without giggling a little.

WE'RE DOOMED!! THE ONLY THING WORSE WOULD BE TO HAVE TO DO THIS SITE IN KINJA!

"And in my hair… on my chest… a whole lot in my navel… probably some stuck between my toes…"

FIVE!

El Boy was pretty awful.

Al Goog would be Arabic.

They're exchanging their cash at an airport kiosk, which is unadvisable unless you're in a big damned hurry.

- "Only 80s Kids Remember These" from Buzzfeed

*Sergey Brin wipes his ass with a $2.7 billion dollar bill*

I'm betting the NYT's attorneys are on staff.

Miller returned to social evening earlier today

If you can't handle the critique, get outta the comments section.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"I don't like the Han Solo movie. It's coarse, unscripted and it has jokes everywhere."