If I had to be punched in the face by anyone I’d be OK with it being Wes Anderson.

More importantly, does it matter?

“Anyway, were you on this flight?”

Because you died.

You’re dead now.

These are great. Also, omg total heart-eyes / school-yard crush on that Leia.

^ this, until we hear otherwise.

“Steve walks warily down the street with his brim pulled way down low...”

Yeeeaah, when I got bullied as a kid it wasn’t a 24/7 affair involving random adults from across the country. It was on the bus, or the playground, or during gym (fucking dodgeball), or in the halls. Maybe a fight on the way home every once in a rare while. So, while the “everyone gets bullied” fallacy is in effect…

“there are literally zero ways that it’s better than a regular flashlight”

You can stack like fifty of them in a comparatively small space? Maybe they’re foldable? Lightweight?

The greatest justice is if his ass actually ends up in a real jail, because he’s gonna have to contend with some real skins, and they’re not gonna want to deal with his dime-store frat-bro bitch tears. That’ll just be poetic.

OK, but can I RP as the anthropomorphic personification of the question “BUT WHAT ABOUT HER EMAILS?”

Which is, of course, manifested as a half-elf, half-dragon, half-kitsune heterochromatic futa.

Jesus-Fucking-Christ why are some gamers so weird? Like, everything is always so extreme, over the most mundane of things.

Oh, this person didn’t play a game the way I want them to? MONSTER.
Oh, Sony didn’t do the thing? AIRPLANE BOMB THREATS.
Oh, this player doesn’t conform to my top-kek meta? GET RAPED SCRUB.
Oh, this…

Can you set the sound? Once they’re old enough, just have it blast out the orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally. There’s no way you’d even ever have to use the app, just for fear of that coming out in a social setting.

Contrary to popular belief, family isn’t something you’re born into. It’s something you choose. Two people decided to have sex, and then have a baby, and that baby turned out to be you. This does not make you beholden to them. It’s not like you had a choice in your conception, and yet you’re supposed to be stuck…

“Anyway, yes: Mega Man X is the best Mega Man game, if you ask me.”

... hrrmmmm....

“Well, Mega Man Legends is the best game with “Mega Man” in the title...”

... hhhrrrrrmmmmmmmm.........

“...and Mega Man 2 is the best game whose title is “Mega Man” followed immediately by a numeral...”

.........…

Well, on the bright side, at least we got that image at the top out of it.

Lone Wolf and Cub in space, please.

Very tangentially related question: Is he actually called “Robotnik” in the game, rather than “Eggman”? Because Robotnik is easily the way better name (as were Princess Toadstool/King Koopa in Mario).

I’m 98% sure the F-14 was the closest our collective childhoods ever got to sharing existence with a real-life Star Wars starfighter.