Don’t be sad. Harambe would've wanted it this way. He loved low hanging fruit.

From the looks of that picture, I'd say his most immediate problem is camel toe.

You could always buy epinephrine and needles and inject your son yourself, and teach him how to do it himself. It’s super cheap.

Or would you rather the company improve their safe injection techniques and charge your insurance companies?

Yeah, I am confused. I did an eyeroll about the “protecting family and belongings” bit, but gun safety classes seems like a top notch idea.

Oh, I feel so rotten. You beat me to it.

Sadly, we’ll only know how rich he is if he released his tax returns but he won’t because of all that money he gave NAMBLA.

Si.

Whoa there, Jimmy is an American Hero. Jimmy is dedicated to the task at hand. That task being "how many hot girls are walking past my station right now?"

No More Secrets...

Woah man, that’s like, deep. *bong hit*

more like Leonidas of ‘Roids.

Since samples are allowed, I’m going with Camp Lo’s Luchini (This Is It):

The problem is, he doesn’t say he’s anti-abortion, he says he’s pro-life. But then he’s in support of the death penalty. So he clearly does not stick to his convictions and is inconsistent on the matter of whether “life” is to be protected at all costs.