The Weddings and Celebrations in the Sunday 'New York Times' are a textual analysis-rebuffing, context-free and statistically random series of events described objectively that have nothing to do with the fact that you're single and still using that one dirty towel after you shower. You HUMAN FILTH. Intern Alexis…
The Weddings and Celebrations pages of the Sunday 'New York Times' don't have to be read. You can totally pass it by! Then you won't feel bad that you had Wheat Thins for dinner all alone last night and let your ex-boyfriend sleep over last week, you unmarriageable piece of mess!
The weekly Weddings and Celebrations section in the 'New York Times' is your guide to who is superior to you—and who is worse than whom. But don't you know: They're all winners, because they're newly-married, and you're single again, or thinking about a divorce, and just generally losing all the time. It's like the…
The Weddings and Celebrations pages of the New York Times are where we go to feel bad about not being on the boards of charitable organizations or having 'IV' after our names. And also, today, where we go to feel bad that no one has ever proposed to us in the presence of a horse.
The Weddings and Celebrations pages of the 'New York Times' are where the elite announce their TRIUMPH. They did it—they beat you, they beat poverty and, for now, usually, they even beat cancer. Our Intern Alexis picks a winner among the winners.
The Weddings and Celebrations announcements in the 'New York Times' are a battlefield. Everyone there must stand alone. And no one, not even our Intern Alexis, can tell these people that they're wrong. They are trapped by their love and chained to each others' side.
Do you believe in love? Perhaps you do! But you totally definitely believe in money. Because it's very hard to love when you have no money and you're hungry! The Weddings and Celebrations section of the 'New York Times' is where money and love meet, and where our Intern Alexis finds that in the mix, someone always…
Great news! Did you know that the Weddings and Celebrations section of the 'New York Times' exists to transform you on a lazy Sunday afternoon from Kathy Griffin to Cathy Guisewite? It's true! Studies show that reading what we used to call 'Vows' actually sets your internal feminism and self-esteem clocks back eight…
Every week, the New York Times' Weddings and Celebrations section lets you know which powerful, rich, famous, and/or attractive people are joining like in holy matrimony and the conspiracy to grind your hopes and dreams to dust. And every week, our Intern Alexis subjects the happy couples to her tough-but-fair rating…
Each week, Intern Alexis surveys the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Times and subjects them to her patented rating scale so that we might know who is best preparing to be well-set-up after their divorces. "Bourgeois marriage is, in reality, a system of wives in common," wrote Marx. Hence we pay attention to…
Every week, Intern Alexis combs the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Times and clues us into which members of the elite class are pooling their resources. This week's column is a day late cause she was at a wedding over the weekend! Alanic.
Every week, Intern Alexis combs the Times' Weddings and Celebrations section, seeing which notables have joined the ranks of the marrieds. Good luck to all these poor suckers; we're certain they will all be posting on messageboards about their issues with "DH" in no time.
Each week, the 'New York Times' publishes wedding announcements from the newsworthy set. While it's true that you'll never find love and eventually you'll wind up settling for whoever's left, your sad little dreams put to a terrible end in some dingy rented hall that was the only place you and the schmuck you wound up…
Each week, the 'New York Times' publishes wedding announcements from the newsworthy set. Why do they make you so bitter, you horrible little nitpicker? Why can't you just be happy for them? What's wrong with you? Intern Alexis breaks down who won in the Land Of Vows.
Every darn week, the New York Times Weddings and Celebrations section reminds you that you're either not nuptialed or not nuptialed well enough. So each week Intern Alexis helps us pay ironic or sincere tribute to the victors of the game of love!
Every week, Intern Alexis analyzes the results of the Times' Weddings and Celebrations section to figure out who's winning the game of life. Hint: not you!
Each week, Intern Alexis tallies up the status indicators of all the couples who've found it necessary to shove their connubial bliss in our faces via the Times Weddings & Celebrations section, so that we can feel superior to them in some small way that we can trick ourselves into thinking is more valuable than…
"I love to consume. Consuming is my specialty," says 26-year-old, $3,500 purse owning private equity associate Natasha Mitra. She is why this feature, intended to stare deep into the dark night of New York magazine's Look Book feature, exists. But in some circular, paradoxical, almost Buddhist way, she's also why this…
Each week, Intern Alexis tallies up the status indicators of all the couples who've found it necessary to shove their connubial bliss in our faces via the Times Weddings & Celebrations section, so that we can feel superior to them in some small way that we can trick ourselves into thinking is more valuable than…
Oh dear, it's always difficult when a Look Book subject comes off as sweet and endearing and down to earth. Makeup artist Alice Lane is all those things and also a Victim! Of hair trauma. "When I was a kid, my dad cut my hair and I had a big, Afro, microphone head. And it was red. I could never get a boyfriend."…
