Pick a side, Siri! We’re at war!

See dictionary: “majority”

I won’t lose my shit over this if I can get a bagel piped full of cream cheese. 

Because they’re ~10% of the population and many use a right handed mouse anyway. The majority of mice are handedness independent.

Maybe these republicunts should just not piss so many people off. That’s what I do instead of owning a gun and it keeps me very safe.

And that’s how Satan sneaks in! It’s genius!

Are we sure he wasn’t just trying to up his pinball skills?

There is no selective pressure for evolution, hence humans are not evolving. If we possess the means to avert suffering on a global scale, we have a moral obligation to do so.

I take it you don’t think climate change is real.

‘How dare you report the facts!’ - seems to be a party line these days.

Tranq gun and done.

Ease into it. 

This is the kind of writing I needed to take the edge off. Thank you, Brian.

Pardon my skepticism about any Mexican chain restaurant in South Bend.

How does one make a 12" circular disc out of a chicken breast? This is reconstituted, right?

That Nathan Fillion voices himself makes it that much better!

Yeah, screw that cable guy, too! 

29% of customers have also had a driver refuse to bring the food to their door

The problems were likely to do with the storage and handling of remains as well as obtaining and ultimate use of the tissues, per the lawsuit as filed by the families. Often families are under the impression their loved ones’ bodies will be used in research to later find out their tissues were harvested for…