That is the attitude of a quitter, Eileen.

The same as when you multiply six by nine—42.

Who did tricycle gobble gobble honk?

What are purple?

If you could use a rat as a cell phone, though...

Deep, man. Deep.

I hated Love. I will give this a try.

I’m sure he and the sheep will be very happy together....

On the bright side, the burial site of Scalia has been leaked to the public. While you can’t piss on Phyllis’s grave yet, Jezzies on the East Coast can make a pilgrimage to Fairfax, VA, to mourn in what manner you choose.

Every day is Independent Contractor Day, for some of us.

I am ready to receive your go juice.

So we can pat ourselves on the back and say, “Welp, we tried. I hope Rob and Blac Chyna stay together.”

...I knew I liked you. *wanders off, humming “Zooropa”*

Goddamn it, I like Pet Sounds...is this what “Caroline, No” has been about all along?

I hope they win their appeal.

Hey! Must be the penne!

Reading over this, it almost seems like the inner monologue of a pulp novel protagonist.

Librarians, communists; potato, subversive infiltration of American culture-atoe...

“except mine are bright blue and shaped like a Star of David”