I didn’t realize “Oh, the places you’ll go” had another literal meaning.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

Kuwaitus interruptus!

If you read those trademarks in order, it actually makes for an aggressively mediocre chorus to a song you’d likely be annoyed by.

Everybody knows Goon is better.

OK, I’ll go there.

This has been destined to happen for a long time.

Maybe it was cross-posted to a Sports website, Headline when you load the page.

You’re tremendously edgy.

I’m not a medical expert, but you’re definitely showing the signs of Early Onset 37.

My ideals ALCS involves the Red Sox, the Yankees and a meteor.

It’s spelled “Dickchester,” but its pronounced “Diceturr.”

are you sure you don’t need it all the time?

FYI, 95% of Deadspin readers: the money shot is at 3:08.

...Bud...

My pops was a Vietnam vet, and he always said “If those chickenshit assholes actually supported the fucking troops, they wouldn’t wave their fucking peckers around about sending our kids over to whatever piece-of-shit fucking foreign squabble they don’t fucking understand and can’t wait to fall dick-first into.…

Edgar gets a set of steak knives.

I think there’s a significant difference between you as a parent disciplining your own child for their behavior and someone else calling them out as “an annoying little pissant”. It’s not wrong to call the child out for their behavior in a respectful manner but no, you don’t call someone else’s child “an annoying…

And with clarity, I will take my abuse. It is maddening that this has taken so long.