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Hobby Lobby has announced that its Muslim,
the arts and crafts chain, once known

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for its long affiliation with evangelical
Christianity, will be adopting the word

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of the Koran and require employees to pray
five times a day.

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Hobby Lobby CEO David Green also announced
that the chain's nearly 1000 stores

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would all be arranged to face Mecca,
adding that quote,

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While Christianity was fine at all,
it has never been more clear

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that the word of the Prophet
Muhammad is the one true religion

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and thus the one true religion for Hobby
Lobby.

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Praise be to Allah.

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Allah Akbar.

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Gen Z, How are you
meeting people outside of dating apps?

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I've had some luck with websites.

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They're like apps, but on the computer.

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Was lucky enough

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to have my fringe religious sect
assign me a reproductive partner at birth.

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My boyfriend and I met when we were
both struck by the same bullet at school.

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I'm actually developing an AI algorithm

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that can simulate the exact experience
of falling in love in virtual space.

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I met a lot of people
after I went to the hospital

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because of the lead poisoning
I got from my Stanley Cup.

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I've met all my romantic partners
by driving a car 200 miles per hour

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down the road while wearing a blindfold
and seeing who I hit.

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I've opened myself up to dating things
beyond our mortal coil,

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like orbs of light
and spirits of unknowable age glory holes.

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Okay.

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Tick tock.

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It's time to decide once and for all.

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Morning worms or evening worms.

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You can only choose one.

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So hard to decide,

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but you must pick one.

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What's it going to be?

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The rest will be slaughtered
to feed our family.