WEBVTT

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Below it.

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Amir Zelensky has challenged
Vladimir Putin to settle the Ukraine war

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on the dance floor.

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During an emergency session at the U.N.,
Zelenskyy demanded the Russian president

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get out of his seat, shake that ass

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and do some real international diplomacy
right here, right now.

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While he was initially resistant, Putin
eventually stood up part of the crowd

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and began to pop, lock and drop it as
the Ukrainian president stood and watched.

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After several hours and hours, Zelensky
then asked if that was all Putin

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had ripped off his shirt
and did a backflip,

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causing the room of diplomats
to erupt in raucous applause.

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Unfortunately for the citizens
of both countries, the dance battle

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ended abruptly after Putin
sprayed a nerve agent in Zelensky's face.

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Bartenders.

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What's the worst thing a customer can say
to you on St Patrick's Day?

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But Guinness has gone bad.
Can I have a refund, buddy?

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That's just how it tastes
when someone asks

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what kind of cabbage we have on tap.

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It's like it's right
there. Just read the menu.

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Customers always ask if we take comics
as if they don't know that authentic

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Irish pubs only accept shillings
retrieved from a small leather pouch

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hidden in one's boot.

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Another round of corned beef and keep
em coming.

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Sir, we have a strict
three beef limit per customer,

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and I'd say you look like you've already
had enough.

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Note to all customers you are not required
to inform your bartender

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that you are a registered sex offender.

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Just your neighbors.

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Please stop.

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Every year
someone comes up just to tell me

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that the whole story about St Patrick
driving

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the snaked out of Ireland
is actually just an allegory.

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And that snakes

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never existed in the country
and that they are about to throw up on me.

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Viva la Revolucion! Wrong country chap.