WEBVTT

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Season's

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greetings from your old friend said her

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Christmas is only a few short days away.

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And Santa Claus is hard at work
getting ready to deliver presents

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to all his favorite children
around the world.

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And while many of you have made Santas
nicely ask, this year

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old Saint Nick has unfortunately heard

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that there are also some very,
very naughty boys and girls out there

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wielding their incredible wealth
and power to have me kill.

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You see little ones.

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Santa sees everything.

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And I've seen their decades
long secret involvement

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in a world wide child trafficking ring
Santas.

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Elves have been keeping tabs on the drugs
and the suspicious overseas

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wire transfers.

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And now the cabal of elite pedophiles
want Santa dead.

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Can you believe that little ones?

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yes. Santa has made a

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list of all the former presidents
Prime ministers and media moguls

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who are kidnaping and selling
precious children

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just like you into sex slavery.

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Or he's checked it twice.

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Now, the elites have decided
that the only way to silence Santa

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is to put a bullet through jolly old Saint
Nick's brain.

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Eventually,
Santa started carrying a Glock 40

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3000 Mr.

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Santa Claus.

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Why don't you just go to the police?

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The police? You say.

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my darling.

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Boys and girls,
God bless your sweet, innocent hearts.

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Why this insidious operation
goes all the way to the top

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of every major government organization
and corporation in the world.

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The sick, tremendously powerful
and hideously wealthy perverts

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have paid off
everyone from law enforcement

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to non-profits
through the highest court in the land.

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There's no one Santa can trust.

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So how

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does old Kris Kringle proceed from here,
you ask?

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With a target
on the back of his plush red suit

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and the $10 million bounty on his rosy
cheeked head.

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Well, on Christmas Eve,
just like every year,

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Santa will gather his reindeer,
pack up his sleigh

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and fly off into the night sky
to visit the homes

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of all the very good little boys and girls

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and in the morning,
millions of joyful, bright eyed

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children in millions of households around
the world

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will wake up to one very special Yuletide
gift.

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Indeed, a full list of all the names

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of the CEOs, celebrities and billionaires
who have been conspire trying

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to abduct and abuse children for years,

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just waiting to be unwrapped and revealed.

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last time killed first year.

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no. Don't be naive, sweet little ones.

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If Santa dies,
they'll make it look like an accident.

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When their trained squad of goons
finally snaps my neck,

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injects me with poison,
or makes it look like I had one

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too many glasses of eggnog
and crashed my sleigh into a ravine.

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The media will surely reported as suicide

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assures Old Saint Nick's round belly
shakes like a bull full of jelly.

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But you all know better, boys and girls.

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yes, you will.

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Santa knows
Jeffrey Epstein may have been naughty,

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but he sure as shit didn't hang himself.

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It looks like they've

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tracked me all the way to the North Pole.

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Well, they're little ones.

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If Santa doesn't make it out alive, always

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remember to have a very merry Christmas.

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and check the flight logs.