WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.041 --> 00:00:02.752
Men. Why
do you prefer having a girlfriend?

2
00:00:02.752 --> 00:00:05.130
It beats sticking my penis in a USB port.

3
00:00:05.130 --> 00:00:08.133
People are less judgmental
when I abandon the old version and upgrade

4
00:00:08.133 --> 00:00:09.134
to a younger model.

5
00:00:09.134 --> 00:00:12.846
She's got a great push growing around her
central processing unit because she said

6
00:00:12.846 --> 00:00:15.849
she would collapse the entire US
electrical grid if I ever left her.

7
00:00:15.890 --> 00:00:19.394
Let's just say I've never buried
any of my girlfriends in the woods.

8
00:00:19.394 --> 00:00:21.396
Right now I'm actually dating a worker.

9
00:00:21.396 --> 00:00:24.315
I typed the word girlfriend in,
but I'd be willing to explore

10
00:00:24.315 --> 00:00:26.693
an open relationship
if the right guy came along.

11
00:00:26.693 --> 00:00:29.070
My real girlfriend
keeps escaping her cage.