WEBVTT

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- Over the weekend, I got
my license for a motorcycle.

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(country music)
You know what that means?

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I have to add another vehicle to my fleet.

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But honestly, I don't know
that much about motorcycles.

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And as much as Jalopnik's very own

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Steve DeSilva likes to
tell me suggestions,

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I want whatever he's
telling me not to get.

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We're gonna turn what car
should you buy around.

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I want to ask you what
motorcycle I should buy.

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Should I get something big, small,

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one cylinder, two cylinders?

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Should I get a Kawasaki Ninja,

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wear a flat brim hat backwards,

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and flip flops Every time I ride?

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I need you to tell me what
is the best beginner bike

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for someone who's a little big.

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I'm like 6'1, 220.

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So something too small
and not powerful enough.

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Well, baby, I'm just not going anywhere.

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I got a need, a need for speed,

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but not too much speed
because I am terrified.

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Riding motorcycles are scary,

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but they're fun.

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It's a whole new world for me,

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and I want your suggestions.

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Let me know what you think I
should buy for about $5,000.

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Not more than that.

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I have no money.

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And for the love of
Christ, do not tell my mom.

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She will be so mad.

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She'll be so mad at me.

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(dramatic music)

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- [Mom] Andy Kalmowitz,

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I'm gonna kill you even
if the bike doesn't.