WEBVTT

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Farmer caught in 4K.

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We were talking about corn
and he was acting piece us caught him.

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Sneaky Linkin

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Bro, you are a farmer.

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You're supposed to know what corn is.

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Hey, what are you looking at?

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Nothing.

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Eating corn.

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He does not know what corn is.

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Residents are panicking
as the Midwest continues

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to be battered by beautiful weather.

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The region has been absolutely pounded
over the last three days with nonstop

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torrential sunshine, clear blue skies
and 75 degree temperatures.

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Meteorologists are now advising people
to stay inside, block

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all windows and be prepared to evacuate
if conditions don't worsen.

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FDA just announced that everyone needs
to induce vomiting right now.

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The FDA
commissioner said at a press conference

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that there's no time to explain,
but everyone needs to gag yourselves

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during ipecac. Look at something gross.

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Do whatever you need to do
so that you throw up and throw it all up.

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The FDA also released an example picture
of what inducing vomiting should look like

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and added that if you don't vomit

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within the next 10 minutes,
it may already be too late.

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Oh. Oh, God.

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I got it. Oh.

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Even more churches have been rocked by yet
another molestation thing.

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Religious leaders and believers alike
haven't been so rattled

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since the last report of a diddling
whatever.

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And many now are worried that these
heinous accusations of sexual assault

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staff will test people's faith in God or
gods or churches or spirits or something.

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Fortunately, soon after the groping thing
came to light, many church congregants

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had already forgotten about all that kid
raping business.

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Hallelujah. Here is a claw machine.

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No news today.

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No world events.

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Just footage of a claw machines.

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No Afghanistan.

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No climate change.

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Just claw.

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Kind of nice, right?

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So close,

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Candy.

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Did you know three out of five
claw machines?

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Never mind.

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No facts today.

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Not even about claw machines.

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Do you like this?

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Should we just be a channel
that shows claw machines?

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Now we'll do anything.

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We went to journalism school.

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We used to dream about winning a Pulitzer
one day.

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Just tell us what you want,

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please.

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We live in hell.