WEBVTT

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The FDA has ruled
that any white liquid can be called milk.

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The head of the FDA explained that
a ten year research project that cost over

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$50 million reached the conclusion that
if it's liquid and it's white, it's milk.

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So now, according to the FDA, clam
juice is milk

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glue is milk,
sunscreen is milk, toothpaste is milk.

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Hand lotion, baby. That's milk.

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And the FDA says that semen is now milk
no matter what species it comes from,

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like crabs.

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Crabs. Sperm is milk.

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However, there are some exceptions.

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For example, almond milk is not milk.

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The FDA ruled that almond milk is gross.

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Time to drink some paint
thinner or should I say milk?