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- My very first car was
a Chevrolet Monte Carlo.

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My parents handed it to me

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because they couldn't stand it anymore

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and they bought a different
car that wasn't huge.

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So it was nice that, you know,
I had wheels as a teenager.

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They were sick of driving me everywhere.

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It's also a gas guzzler.

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I was always pushing it to run on fumes,

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like I know it says empty,

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but I still should be able
to drive around for two days.

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Well, I ran outta gas,
maybe a mile from my house

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and we didn't have cell phones
then, it was the eighties.

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And I wasn't in a place where
there were any payphone,

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so I just knocked on
someone's door and said,

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"Can I use your phone to call my mom?"

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Which they let me do.

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My mother chewed my butt out saying,

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"Don't scare people like that.

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Don't just go knocking on people's doors

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asking to use their phone.

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What if it was an elderly person?

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You would've scared them half to death."

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Because I'm so terrifying

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me knocking on someone's
door at one in the afternoon.

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I think, you know,

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I think people can handle it.

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I'm not that monstrous.

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Maybe I am, I don't know.

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