WEBVTT

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- It's Isaiah Colbert,
the Otaku of Kotaku.

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The corporate day of love
is upon us, Valentine's Day.

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While I could very easily prattle off

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a list of anime's best couples,

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I won't.

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Instead, I'm gonna serve as
the Ghost of Valentine's Past

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for y'all as we collectively lament

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the top five anime
couples that never were.

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Brace yourselves, this one's gonna hurt.

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Number five, Zucko and Katara

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from "Avatar: The Last Airbender".

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Now, I already know a sizable
number of Tumblr users

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will back me up on this.

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So let me cook.

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While I won't yuck on the yum
of "Avatar's" canon pairing

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of Aang and Katara,

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I mean, they gave us J.K. Simmons' Tenzin,

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for Christ's sake.

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- Don't bring my mother into this!

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- It's hard not to get
taken in by the ebb and flow

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of Zucko and Katara.

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For one, Zucko returned
Katara's betrothal necklace,

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albeit with deceitful aims,

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and we all felt something when
they opened up to each other

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in that geo cave.

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Not to harp on Aang, but if anything,

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Katara felt more like a
helicopter parent to him

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for the majority of the show,

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rather than a romantic
partner in retrospect.

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Now that you've all
typed measured comments

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to this entry, let's move right along.

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Number four, Ichigo and
Rukia from "Bleach".

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Not to the disparage Orihime

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for being a ball of sunshine
that deserves a world,

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but come on, Tite Kubo.

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Why did you make her end
up with our strawberry boy

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after giving Ichigo and Rukia
so much onscreen chemistry?

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You look me in the eye

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and tell me that Soul Reaper arc

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isn't one of the greatest
expressions of love

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in Shounen anime.

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This pairing not becoming
official is only exacerbated

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by all the romantic
subtexts in "Bleach" movies

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and filler episodes.

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At least Twitter user dbrideart

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is still fighting the
good fight by supplying

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each Ichiruki shippers with
wholesome, spicy content.

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Number three, Rem and
Subaru from "Re:Zero".

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Rem, who's Rem?

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Shut up, intrusive thoughts.

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Now listen, there's nothing
wrong with Subaru sparing

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Rem's feelings by being honest with her

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and telling her he's
just not that into her.

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It was very mature of him.

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However, at the time, his
rejection felt like he snatched

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a gold chain off old girl's neck

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and told her she was for the streets.

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Once again, Subaru liking Amelia is fine,

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but damn, did this one still sting.

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Number two, Nana and Hachiko from "Nana".

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MyAnimeList would tell you "Nana"

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is a shoujo about two
girls who grow closer

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as they strive to support one another

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amid their struggles to forge
a future for themselves,

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but the true believers all know "Nana"

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is about two bisexual female best friends

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with palpable romantic
tension that goes unaddressed,

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until the two have a falling out

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and never speak to each other again.

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You know, just like in real life.

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Go watch "Nana".

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It hurts real good.

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And number one, me and Nico Robin.

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Move over, Hasan Nabi,

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the Devil Child's true husbando is here.

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We all knew the time was
coming and I, sorry guys.

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I'm being told there was a mistake.

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"Fullmetal Alchemist", Riza and Roy,

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you guys won Best Couple that Never Was.

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This is no joke,

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which means there's still a chance for me

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and Nico Robin Swan.

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Let's go!

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So yeah, "Fullmetal Alchemist"
is a go on any anime list,

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especially this one.

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Even series villain,
Envy thought Riza Hawkeye

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and her work wife, Roy
Mustang, were secret lovers.

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And honestly, they still
are to me too, dammit.

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Let us know in the comment section below

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if you agree with our list
of unofficial anime couples,

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and be sure to not if you disagree.

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Okay, thanks. Bye.

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(bright music)