WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:01.170
- Happy holidays.

2
00:00:01.170 --> 00:00:05.040
Today we're debating
something Christmas related.

3
00:00:05.040 --> 00:00:07.240
- [Announcer] You're
watching "Jalopinions."

4
00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:10.620
- Real or fake Christmas tree.

5
00:00:10.620 --> 00:00:14.160
Now there is a correct answer
and it's real Christmas tree.

6
00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:16.158
- [Bob] I agree. I did not
expect you to go this way.

7
00:00:16.158 --> 00:00:17.190
- 100% real tree.
- I figured you'd be like,

8
00:00:17.190 --> 00:00:20.460
ugh, it makes a mess, you
gotta water it, ba, ba, ba.

9
00:00:20.460 --> 00:00:23.010
- Little thing about me,
(beep) love the holidays.

10
00:00:23.010 --> 00:00:24.720
Are you, are you a Christmas stooge?

11
00:00:24.720 --> 00:00:26.790
Are you like a nostalgia homie?

12
00:00:26.790 --> 00:00:27.930
- I'm all in on Christmas.

13
00:00:27.930 --> 00:00:29.227
I love watching the movies.

14
00:00:29.227 --> 00:00:33.061
"It's a Wonderful Life," "The
Santa Clause," other ones.

15
00:00:33.061 --> 00:00:34.080
(Bob laughs)

16
00:00:34.080 --> 00:00:36.360
- Here's what I love about
a real Christmas tree,

17
00:00:36.360 --> 00:00:37.830
is your house always smells

18
00:00:37.830 --> 00:00:39.240
like a little tree air freshener.

19
00:00:39.240 --> 00:00:40.073
- It does.

20
00:00:40.073 --> 00:00:41.370
- Especially if you put it
right near the radiator,

21
00:00:41.370 --> 00:00:43.200
so it's like slowly cooking.

22
00:00:43.200 --> 00:00:45.150
- And if you're like, if
your family's like mine,

23
00:00:45.150 --> 00:00:47.190
you'll have nostalgic
memories of your family

24
00:00:47.190 --> 00:00:49.230
getting into arguments as you try

25
00:00:49.230 --> 00:00:52.050
and pick a goddamn tree at the Lowe's.

26
00:00:52.050 --> 00:00:54.000
Because that one's too big,
but that one's too small.

27
00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:56.010
That one's gonna scratch
on the roof, David.

28
00:00:56.010 --> 00:00:57.570
No, Danny put that one down.

29
00:00:57.570 --> 00:01:01.050
We used to go to no less than
like five different places

30
00:01:01.050 --> 00:01:04.050
to find a Christmas
tree every single year.

31
00:01:04.050 --> 00:01:08.130
Every year it was just a thing
that my family would dread.

32
00:01:08.130 --> 00:01:10.916
- Did you grow up in
the "Christmas Story?"

33
00:01:10.916 --> 00:01:12.180
- [Andy] (sighs) Like a little bit.

34
00:01:12.180 --> 00:01:16.020
My mom is just like, she's
like a Christmas perfectionist,

35
00:01:16.020 --> 00:01:18.090
so the tree had to just be perfect.

36
00:01:18.090 --> 00:01:20.550
It also has to be a Fraser
fir, nothing else will do.

37
00:01:20.550 --> 00:01:21.570
- Oh, of course.

38
00:01:21.570 --> 00:01:22.403
- I'm glad-

39
00:01:22.403 --> 00:01:23.236
- I mean, listen-

40
00:01:23.236 --> 00:01:24.690
- But we never like
chopped our trees down,

41
00:01:24.690 --> 00:01:25.920
'cause you know, my dad's Jewish,

42
00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:28.320
he wasn't taking an ax
to a tree in the snow.

43
00:01:28.320 --> 00:01:30.840
- My great-aunt Helen,
well into her nineties,

44
00:01:30.840 --> 00:01:32.640
would put a ladder up against the tree

45
00:01:32.640 --> 00:01:35.460
and hack the top of the tree
off and that would be her,

46
00:01:35.460 --> 00:01:36.600
she was a tough old bird.

47
00:01:36.600 --> 00:01:38.130
- I like that. I like that.

48
00:01:38.130 --> 00:01:40.080
So yeah, if you get a fake tree

49
00:01:40.080 --> 00:01:42.810
Santa's not bringing you
any goddamn gifts this year,

50
00:01:42.810 --> 00:01:43.643
you animal.

51
00:01:43.643 --> 00:01:44.589
- You Grinch.

52
00:01:44.589 --> 00:01:47.339
("Jingle Bells")