WEBVTT

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(suspenseful music)

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(suspenseful music continues)

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- [Narrator] Bro, I'm crying reading this.

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(arrow whooshes)

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- [Woman] GTA dies here.

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(arrow whooshes)

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- [Narrator] Maybe she'll use her emotions

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like in Peach's game.

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Seriously, no one wants this.

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It's a series targeted at men.

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I don't know why it's suddenly so bad

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to have products specifically for men.

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Give us a male to play as

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and some big titty hookers
to watch dance in downtime.

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- [Narrator] GTA 6, welcome to Wokeville.

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Pathetic.

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- [Narrator] Get woke, go broke.

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(arrow whooshes)

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- [Narrator] GTA 6 story
missions leak name:

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Black lives matter.

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Critical race theory.

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White people are racists.

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Trevor is now transgender.

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Latinx history.

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What has happened to beautiful
Grand Theft Auto franchise?

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It's gone woke once more.

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(arrow whooshes)

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- [Narrator] If you make
GTA culturally sensitive,

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the game immediately loses its charm.

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And here I thought online
was the worst thing to happen

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to the series.

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- [Man] Loses.

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- [Narrator] Thanks.

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- [Man] That one trips a lot of people up.

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(arrow whooshes)

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- [Child] If it ain't gonna be offensive,

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might as well fucking
call it Animal Crossing.

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- [Narrator] It's Kotaku's dream GTA.

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No one gets offended.

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(arrow whooshes)

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- [Narrator] GTA 7, you gonna
play as a transgender fluid

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or some shit and too scared to do crimes

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so you drive speed limit
and have a nine-to-five job.

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(suspenseful music)

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(Man chatters)

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(suspenseful music continues)

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- [Narrator] And instead play it by ear.

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(suspenseful music continues)

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- What did you just say to me?