WEBVTT

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- My name is David Johns, and
this a word about inviting in.

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For us, the idea of inviting in people

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means that once you do the work required

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to demonstrate that you are
competent and compassionate,

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I can share with you or
we can share with you

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parts of who we are, including
who we love or other things

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that you might need to
know about our identity.

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- [James] Who people marry,

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who people love is their business.

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- James Baldwin once famously said,

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"If I love you, I have
to make you conscious

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of what you don't see."

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And to me, that quote embodies
the spirit of inviting in.

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(chill instrumental music)

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- Representation in this
regard is incredibly important.

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One of the reasons why we decided

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to claim James Baldwin's
birthday as Inviting In Day

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is that he remained unapologetic

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in talking about and inviting
us in to so many parts

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of what made him a whole person.

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And often there's still too
many of us, Black, LGBTQIA+

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and same-gender loving
people, who don't have access

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to windows and mirrors,
representations of parts of us.

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And you show up in the world
to offer windows and mirrors.

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- When you first told me about
the concept of inviting in

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it just went. (mimics explosion)

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But also just made so much
sense because in a way

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I feel like it was a double
entendre for me to do videos

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in my closet 'cause I was
trying to show my fashion

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but also literally inviting
people into my closet

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to help them with the coming out.

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So it's almost like,
hey, I was inviting in

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in a way but without saying it.

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It is crazy that we have to come out

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and nobody else does, right?

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So I feel like the idea of inviting in

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is just even more respectful
but also it's welcoming,

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it's endearing, it makes me
feel like the idea of home

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and safety and also family,

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whether that's chosen
family or real family.

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That's how I feel about
the concept of inviting in

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instead of having to push people out

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because that scares a lot of people.

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It is frightening, especially feeling

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like you have to do it
because you stand out

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or that you're different
from the other people

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or being pushed because
somebody wants to out you.

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You know, different things like that,

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that could cause trauma for people.

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- When I do invite you into my life,

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I expect you to do the same.

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I expect you to go an extra mile

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and learn more about my identity

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and help me not judge
myself and not to feel

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like I'm not in a safe environment.

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- Love is where you find it.

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And you don't know
where it will carry you,

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and it is a terrifying thing, love.

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It is the only human
possibility, but it's terrifying.

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And a man can fall in love with a man,

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a woman can fall in love with a woman.

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There's nothing anybody can do about it.

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- Inviting in to me is such
a self-empowering word.

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It's a word that says, in spite
of the fact that you think

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you oughta be entitled to
this information about me,

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this very private and
personal information about me,

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I still get to decide.

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There's a level of autonomy.

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It's kinda one of the reasons
why I don't like the idea

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of coming out, almost as if to suggest

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that you haven't been present before.

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Sexuality is a part of who we are.

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It isn't all of who we are.

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No, I didn't invite in originally.

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I didn't come out either.

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The circumstances and the
situation allowed people

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to draw their own conclusions

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even before I could say what was true

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and what was real for me.

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There was a piece of violence done to me.

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Inviting in is very, very important

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because while I could not control a lot,

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I could control that much.

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And when I decided that an invitation in

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was something I wanted to
do, I shared it liberally

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on national television.

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Prior to that, however, I
shared it very, very intimately

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and very close-knit amongst a
very small number of people,

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my wife being one of those persons,

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but I embrace the term
wholeheartedly of inviting in.

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It gives me, the individual, the power.

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- James Baldwin wrote about homosexuality

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as a noun and as a verb,
as something that people do

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versus something that defines a person.

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Given the larger preoccupation
with how LGBTQIA people

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show up in the world, show up
in relationships and in love,

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what can we learn from
Baldwin's worldview?

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- He never ever walked the Earth,

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certainly in the period that
we were able to observe him,

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believing that he owed anything

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to anyone outside himself for who he was.

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His words, unfortunately
David, remain as relevant today

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as the day that he put pen to paper.

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And to me, that's a pretty sad indictment.

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- We oughta be strong enough

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to let people be free to live, no?

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Do you think you have the
right or I have the right

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to tell anybody else who
he or she should marry,

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who he or she should love?

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That will weaken the fiber of the nation

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faster than anything else.

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(audience applauding)

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- Inviting someone to be
in partnership with me,

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to invite them into
conversations about my politic,

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my worldview, and the role I want to play

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as we think about reimagining
what's possible here.

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- When I think about coming out,

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I think about telling somebody my secret.

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And being trans is not a secret of mine.

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Being trans is a point of pride for me.

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Being trans is something
that is so beautiful

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and that I'm happy to be.

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Instead I invite in, and I invite in

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in ways that are not necessarily,

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hey, David, I'm trans
and I want to invite you

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into my experience, but I invite in

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by making posts on my Instagram.

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I speak about my transness
in an everyday context.

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And to me, that is inviting in.

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- James Baldwin -Uncle Jimmy-
is quoted as saying in 1984,

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two years after the best year ever

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in "The Village Voice" in New York that

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"The sexual question
and the racial question

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have always been entwined, you know.

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If Americans can mature
on the level of racism,

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then they have to mature
on the level of sexuality."

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How are Black people generally impacted

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by LGBTQIA+ phobia and
bias against Black folks

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who are members and who
have always been members

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of our beautifully diverse community?

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- Black trans women have
been on the forefronts

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of every single civil rights
and human rights movement.

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Black trans women have
always been in the streets.

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Black trans women have always been trying

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to get into the rooms that
we now see ourselves in

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more than we were ever able to be before.

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We've always been fighting

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for all of our siblings to be free

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because we've understood that our freedom

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is not valid unless all of us are free.

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- What's the solution?

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What's the labor that we
should be inviting Black folks

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who purport to care about
other Black folks to engage in?

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- Education and making the resources

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readily available to our siblings.

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Queerness existed far
before any idea of whiteness

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or westernism was ever introduced

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into our existence and our living.

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Homophobia and transphobia, like racism,

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are tools of white supremacy.

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And that they have been utilized

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to turn us against our own
communities and our own siblings

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and make us complicit to an extent

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'cause I think that's a really
important piece of language

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to contextualize, complicit to an extent

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in the destruction of our own communities.

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- When you think about the
ideal community or society

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or world for Black LGBTQIA+,
same-gender loving people,

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what does it look like?

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- The ideal world for me,

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for Black queer people specifically

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is being able to wake up every morning

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and not questioning whether
you'll return home safe

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and sound to a bed that is there,

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to a family that loves you, and in a house

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that you'll never have to
worry about being insecure.

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So I hope for a day when my
safety is not a privilege

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but a right, and that I
am given everything I need

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in order to just simply thrive and exist.

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- I don't think that we've come this far

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to fall into the European nightmare.

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That's exactly how the
European nightmare began,

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by dictating to other
people how they should live.

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You haven't got the right to do that.

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(audience applauding)

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- I think about the ways in
which I invite people in.

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And it is by being open, being honest,

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living with integrity as a queer person.

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I also love to teach about queer identity,

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specifically coming from the
perspective of a Black woman.

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- Determine who you are and decide

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whether you want to
invite people in or not.

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That is up to you.

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That is the agency, the power,

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and the energy that you must have.

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(soft instrumental music)