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- (Onion Host) Following
the announcement of

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First Communion the Holy Spookerist,

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the first hardcore
pornographic movie to be filmed

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in Vatican City since
1982's classic adult feature

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Pope Fisters IV,

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Onion reporter spoke to Hershel Savage,

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director of the film.

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- Well, obviously it's a huge honor for me

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and everyone else involved with this film.

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I mean, this was where
they shot Pope Fisters IV.

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That movie is a masterpiece.

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When we wrote up the
script for First Communion,

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we sent it over to the Vatican
to get the Pope's approval

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and see if he had any notes, but

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he loved it just the way it was.

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- (Onion Host) Highly
anticipated pornographic film

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which stars Ron Jeremy
as the Horny C himself,

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Pope Bent Dick the 69th,

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will reportedly contain
graphic sex scenes filmed

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in the Sistine Chapel, St. Peter's Square

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and the Pope Mobile among various other

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notable sites within the Vatican.

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- Well, actually, I'm just watching a cut

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of this amazing scene we shot last night

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where Pope Bent Dick is gang banging

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a bunch of nuns in his bed.

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It was great because the
Pope let us use his bedroom.

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Tomorrow we're shooting the scene

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where two nuns fuck each
other on St. Peter's tomb

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using strap-on crucifixes.

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I think people are really
going to like this movie.

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- (Onion Host) Check
this week's Onion Review

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for further developments.