I don't understand EVER deviating from any registry (baby, wedding, or otherwise) unless you're like blood-related to the recipient. People think they're being thoughtful, but they're really being kind of selfish. They prize their own love of choosing a gift rather than considering what the new parents/new…

Amen! We were invited to a housewarming/shower/potluck (giftgrab) BBQ where the host was providing "chairs and meat." And a list of desired gifts. Both the host and new homeowners were strangers that lived on the same street as us. We declined the invite.

I know, we got an invitation from my husband's coworker once, that had a huge list of the things she would not be supplying at her pool party barbecue: Towels, Meat, Liquor, Non-alcoholic drinks, munchies. We've never been to her house. I think she might have lived in an apartment or condo, so it wasn't even her…

YES. I've been to "parties" where I have to bring a dish and my own drinks...so what exactly are you offering as a host? At least feed your guests. And this doesn't have to be expensive. When we host a bigger party we choose food that are inexpensive. No cheese trays for house party. Pulled pork and coleslaw. Buns,…

I totally get this... but my plea to parents-to-be is to please, please, please make sure there are enough items on the registry at a wide range of price points. I love my friends and want to celebrate with them, but the purpose of a shower is to shower the expectant parents with gifts... and as someone who has spent…

Quite honestly, I am too neurotic for potlucks. I like to host things. I do so frequently. And I have a large group of extremely well-meaning but less than totally reliable/practical friends who always WANT to contribute, and push until I delegate something to them. And then they are 3 hours late, or made…

This. All of this. Totally topical for me because my husband and I are hosting a small gathering tonight. We're mid to late-20's, somewhat poor right now (he's in grad school, I'm unemployed), but even so we're hosting our friends who have done various good-deeds for us for the last few months, as a thank you.…

I think it's kind of rude to blatantly disregard the registry. Like, "I'm going to ascribe to this tradition of giving you things to help with your future endeavor, but I don't trust that you know what you need, so I'm going to give you what I think you need."

My only problem with registries is that every time I have used one for a baby shower, someone else who went to the shower bought the same item (but not through the registry), and it got opened before my gift was. But that is certainly not the fault of the registry. It is in fact explicitly what the registry is meant…

This kid needs a show.

I think some people just really DON'T like to be told what to do. It's bloody mindedness dressed up as a desire to be original.

Eh, but aren't potlucks are lazy by definition though? It's one thing for everyone to pitch in if it's a gathering of family or close friends, but I'm pretty sick of every invite from every random coworker and acquaintance being a potluck lately. I barely have time to cook dinner for my own family during the week; if…

I sometimes enjoy potlucks, but your comment reminded that the one and only time I've been to a barbecue like that, it was my husband's friends, and I was miserably hungover, and my husband and I got into a fight about it at the grocery store on the way there.

It might be an American thing, the potluck. Because I've never heard of it before. But the idea of it gives me hives. I love to cook for my friends and planning and orchestrating the whole deal is at least as much of the pleasure for me as the actual event. The idea of deciding to have a dinner or party and then…

I have tremendous respect for her but sometimes I feel like if her head wasn't connected to her body it would just float away.

In my family, if someone invites you for a meal you do the dishes as a thank you. Is that not a thing anymore? Was that never a thing? Was that just a my family thing? (We also side step the whole registry issue because graduations, weddings and baby showers call for hand made gifts (Pillow cases for grads and…

What?! At the very least, the pot luck host should provide 1 or 2 entrees/mains... So that if no one brings anything adequate at least you got something for everyone to eat...

Tightly-wound-cousin always dictates EXACTLY what she expects each guest to make - from scratch - ("your lovely homemade rolls!") and bring to her house for Thanksgiving/Christmas (whichever she's hosting). Annoying and nervy. PLUS she takes credit for hosting the "big meal" when in reality she's cleaned the house,…

This is the short version that should've appeared above. Even shorter:

Chipping in on a big registry item is the best option. And if you really must stray from the list, get a small/medium thing from the registry IN ADDITION TO that hand-knit blanket or Hobbit onesie or whatever weird-ass thing you just couldn't pass up.