Counterpoint - see: Picasso

Illinois does a lot wrong, but we elected Durbin and Tammy Duckworth as our senators. They are both fantastic.

There were times when artist were allowed to use only male models. That’s also why so many paintings of children look weird. I guess they tried to imagine which parts of the body would be different and then winged it.

That is a male torso with boobs tacked on.

Finally someone who agrees with me. Wedges are the worst. Kitten heels forever! I can’t handle wearing taller heels, so a good kitten heel makes me feel fashionable and put together in a situation where heels are called for.

Wedges are ugly. They make your feet look like stumps, or hooves. Wedge booties are an abomination.

How could you leave out the flip flop kitten heel abomination that tarnishes the memories of my youth?

Yes. And it’s sometimes so appallingly trivial. Like the IUI cycle I was keeping it together until the grocery store didn’t have pineapple cores and I started crying about it in the middle of the store.

Well, he has been a Senator for quite some time. So, it’s almost like if you care a lot about your constituents, then you will get re-elected. Go figure.

The whole “thoughts and prayers” joke with all the shootings was hilarious.

What, doesn’t allow non-parents to enter? That’s horrible! I don’t even understand how that makes it safer, like if you enter with a child you can’t possibly be predatory? That’s also an incredibly insensitive comment to make, but I’m glad for your happy ending.

I have never heard of a children’s museum that doesn’t allow non-parents. I am so glad the one in Indy isn’t that way! I’ve gone many times with family and friends and their kids, and I would be so sad to be excluded. That rule just sounds way too extreme, in my opinion.

I know, right? What a loser. You’re supposed to be taking kickbacks and trying to get re-elected over and over, nimrod! Read the manual!

Senator Durbin seems like a wonderful man who actually tries to represent his constituents.

It is true, I have been scouring antique markets and yard sales for months now in search of an old laudanum bottle that actually says “LAUDANUM” right on it. I plan to cork it and swig from it occasionally in public. The hipsters can have their mason jars, I want a laudanum bottle.

“Have you had any plastic surgery?”

“What was going through your head when you were stabbing them? Did you think back to having rickets as a child, and just go ‘God is great?”

She’s totally gonna interview OJ, by the way. I mean, I dunno if he’s game, but he’s a narcissist, so probably.

Yeah, but it links their legacies together forever. He becomes a footnote on her wikipedia page, she becomes one on his. People who, maybe decades from now, visit her tomb will see his name next to hers and think “huh, so were they like, a thing?” It implies a connection they never had, that he was more legendary than…

Yeah, she’s a brittle skeleton at this point.