Eva Longoria is not going to raise her head and keen her depair to the sky if she does not ever become a Procreation Station, she revealed in an interview:

The latest lie-turd that Star Magazine's pinched off involves Alyson Hannigan "starving herself" down to 98 pounds. Says an "insider" (a crazed and jealous Alexis Denishof fan? A bitter Buffy extra?): "Alyson has become extremely strict with her diet in recent months. Her weight has become her obsession: She exercises…

The totally reputable National Enquirer has reportedly obtained a shot of Zac Efron collapsed in the Thompson Hotel on January 3rd after an overdose of "hillbilly heroin" Oxy, obtained during a batshit night of drinking. Efron reportedly got the pills from the street and requested all party guests to buy forty for…

Like many of us, Ellen Pompeo was not into the Emmys. She took particular offense to the stinkbomb of an awards show because it reflected the casual whitewashing of Hollywood, and told USA Today one day after the telecast:

Many viewers were outraged that the passing of TV legend Jack Klugman — who played Oscar Madison on The Odd Couple — got very little airtime in the Emmy tribute that included a long memoriam to Cory Monteith. Klugman's son Adam told the AP: "It’s an insult and it really seems typical of this youth-centric culture that…

Rabid Miley Cyrus fans are lashing out at 16-year-old chanteuse Lorde, who is so uppity that she did not commit hara-kiri immediately after her "Royals" topped Miley as #1 on the iTunes chart. They're slamming her with Dorothy Parker-esque gems like "Your eyes are too far apart" and "kill yourself you crusty old hag."…

After admitting on The Talk last week to undergoing eye enlargement surgery at the behest of a racist Dayton, Ohio TV studio back in '95, Julie Chen has clarified that she has not had a nose job. Any difference you see above is due to expert contouring, witchcraft and wizardry.

Turnz out everyone's favorite shirtless chest Zac Efron did a stint in rehab five months ago, while filming the upcoming Seth Rogen comedy Neighbors. E! claims it was for drinking, while TMZ says it was molly and coke — and that earlier this year Efron and some friends went on a flop-sweaty rager and caused $50,000…

Lest we think Justin Theroux is little more than a B-list actor completely devoid of personality, before he got together with the Ol' Ball and Chain Jennifer Aniston, he had a yen for old-timey STD wax figures, he told GQ.

Born-into-stupidly-rich-and-famous-circumstances Jaden Smith, 15-year-old student at the Scientology-based New Village Leadership Academy (founded by Will and Jada) and part-time Teen Philosopher, is all, "We Don't Need No Education."

Two days before the 2013 Miss America pageant, Miss New York Nina Dalvuluri —the self-proclaimed Miss Diversity — was allegedly caught on tape calling outgoing Miss America Mallory Hagan "fat as fuck."* Keep it classy, ladies.

Carson Daly, massive tool, has joined The Today Show, ringing in a self-proclaimed "new era" of the program. He will enroll alongside the other mutants in the X-Academy: Matt Lauer, Savannah Guthrie, Al Roker, Natalie Morales, Hoda Kotb, Willie Geist and Kathie Lee Gifford. While we plebs associate Daly with…

Courtney Love said some kind of amazing shit about basically everything that has been going on except Syria.

Last week's viral video "Worst Twerk Fail EVER - Girl Catches Fire!" was actually a staged bit from Jimmy Kimmel, he admitted last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live: "We didn't send it to any TV station, we didn't tweet it. We just put it on YouTube and let the magic happen."

You might be surprised to learn that Anna Wintour is not a twerking enthusiast. She's cut Miley Cyrus off the cover of the December issue of Vogue, despite a completed photoshoot with Cyrus, because diddling yourself with a foam finger is apparently off-brand.

Depending on what you are reading, Lamar Odom:

Scarlett Johansson is officially engaged to Frenchman and too-hot-to-be-a-journalist journalist Romain Dauriac, her rep confirms. "They're very happy... they haven't chosen a date for the wedding." After faking us out numerous times this past year with non-nuptial diamond rings, her actual engagement ring is "a…

Robin Thicke made out with Lana Scolaro, that girl he played grab-ass with at a post-VMA party, even though his wife Paula Patton was a few feet away and that's why I'mma take a GOOD GIIIIIIIIIRL.

After engaging in some vintage Ross-and-Racheling over the summer, rumors are floating that John Mayer proposed to Katy Perry but she turned him down like a maid does beds in a Julian Fellowes drama. Way harsh, Tai. Popcrush reports:

Today perma-rom-com-lawyer and longtime silver fox Richard Gere is 64, and we look back at an interview he did with Jimmy Carter in 1993. I'm way into the quasi-Rod Stewart mullet. If that's not enough Gerestalgia for you, here is a look back at the shittier and more recent past: Autumn In New York, starring Gere and…