Frothy!

OMG I’m currently attempting to eat keto, and I swear to Glob I’d trade my dog for those fingerling potatoes. Crap they look good.

Personally, I like that he holds that mic like it’s his Elk Lodge brother’s dick.

Didn’t notice — my attention went to the chihuahua apparently wearing a Neck Pillow Of Shame.

I know! I always say “mee-jiiiiiine” to myself and have a laugh.

Amen to that!

Thank you! I’m the chubby one on the team, and it’s hard not to feel just the tiniest bit set up, though that tiptoes into self-pity territory. And decision/willpower fatigue is really a thing, having to say no every time.

Same. There’s no such thing as just a taste. It’s either No Oreos or All The Oreos.

People leave “treats” on a low filing cabinet near my desk, too. It’s hard not to be infuriated by it. I not only have to refuse the food every time I walk by it, I have to watch the show performed by everyone who partakes, about “I’m so bad” and “my stress eating” and “don’t watch me” and “I really shouldn’t.” Eat it…

Botox and failure come to mind.

#ShameFlag

Jeez, can you just imagine him and ol’ Helmet Hair gettin’ it on?

Nope. I don’t ever think of him WITHOUT that clothespin on his dick.

Are hoverbikes equally/more/less susceptible to sand than motorcycles? These machines seem like a maintenance nightmare.

This. $10 million isn’t enough. Now $100 million — as my girl from MomCorp says, “That’s walkin’ around money.”

I love that guy! Especially when he’s pleasantly surprised by an item’s delicious flavor (especially when it’s not particularly good looking).

I love that guy! Especially when he’s pleasantly surprised by an item’s delicious flavor (especially when it’s not…

If the same money spent on bombs was spent on ANYTHING ELSE, we’d have it.

Could be; I dunno. This sounds like plenty of Catholics I know.

My new theme song: “Everything is “Awesuck!”

That’s a bitchin’ trivet — is it originally for hard-boiled eggs?