Allison Shoemaker
allisonshoemaker
Contributor, The A.V. Club and The Takeout. Allison loves television, bourbon, and dramatically overanalyzing social interactions.
3/12/20
3:46 PM
1

That engagement has me IN TEARS of laughter. She is so prepped to get dumped, cry pretty, and head back to Instagram, but in this moment, she realizes she’s STUCK with this soggy white-bread-mayo sandwich of a man for at least two more months and she’s bummed. 

3/12/20
1:27 PM
1

I know a lot of people don’t like Barb, but I did dammit. I think she’s probably right about Peter and Madison, especially with the veiled references “You didn’t see everything that happened”. I think mom’s right and the relationship is doomed. Read more

3/12/20
12:47 AM
2

I love how Chris Harrison sits on the couch and waffles between commiseration and mild disapproval as people struggle to deal with the chaos he’s gone to great lengths to create. Read more

3/11/20
7:30 PM
2

Amen, Allison, I was checking the site all morning hoping for the recap. And I don’t watch the show either!

3/11/20
6:16 PM
1

Everyone deserves to hang out with alpacas, but she didn’t seem terribly interested in Peter? Which makes her very sensible, but possibly not a very good contestant on this show...

3/11/20
5:38 PM
1

The little box with Barb in it should come standard with all cable packages.  I could watch Barb watch anything.

3/11/20
4:45 PM
4

Barb definitely took it too far, but I am here for the picture in picture for her reactions. I was laughing the entire time. And then...she started talking...

3/11/20
12:53 AM
3

footage of a dude trying to decide whether or not he should settle for the only woman left, who has no idea she’s the cheese that stands alone. Yikes.

3/10/20
3:27 PM
5

ABC just leaked a few images from part 2 of the finale. I’ll attach one below:

3/10/20
12:09 PM
3

Wait, do people actually think Madison is coming out of this looking good? First of all, why go on the Bachelor in the first place if you’re uncomfortable with him sleeping with other women? Hasn’t she heard the windmill story? And then she waited until the last possible second to tell him how she felt, and it threw Read more

3/10/20
10:59 AM
7

I dunno, are you sure you want to commit to this commenting system? I have reservations about your compatibility. Read more

3/10/20
10:32 AM
2

I don’t have a lot to say at this point. Peter is the fucking worst and other than standing up to his mom in the episode did everything possible to show he’s the worst. Read more

3/10/20
9:35 AM
3

So is this it? Is this the end and Hanna Ann may or may not get a celebratory feast or something for being the last one standing? Do they do that on this show? Do the winners eat?

3/10/20
8:44 AM
6

This is like if a bad high school romcom became real and you kind of feel bad for the idiot guy but not really because he’s a god damn adult not a teenager. Watching (well, reading recaps of) people being stupid is almost physically painful to me. Read more

3/4/20
2:14 PM
1

Was that not directly linked in the article? Maybe it didn’t show up on mobile-