All my excess live in Texas.

Sorry, Patrick, the correct title was “What is Alex Trebek Hilariously Shits On Jeopardy! Contestant And Her Whole Crew For No Reason”.

I assume “Jesus” is an affordable Napa Valley Chardonnay.

I would choose to travel back to the time when America Was Great Again, which was a time many thousands of years ago when elephant-like creatures ruled the land as noble, scholarly pacifists who enjoyed wearing intricately beaded muumuus woven from the fibers of rainbows.

Ringer, I served with Grantland. I knew Grantland. Grantland was a friend of mine. Ringer, you’re no Grantland.

BREAKING: Outsider Who Will Not Examine Actual Facts Thinks Back-Breaking Stadium Deal Was Great For City He Doesn’t Live In

Now that this story is public, he’ll never ketchup in the polls.

The man failed miserably selling gambling, football, and steak.

No one is saying he isn’t allowed to do this. We’re saying it’s fucking stupid.

lol

“The role of such associations is to foster athletic competition that is fair and serves the well-being of student-athletes.”

I’m so sick and tired of you liberals endangering my children with allowing sexual deviants and predators into their bathrooms.

finally someone will defend my right to wear underwear that is just one very long pasta noodle wrapped about my mids (midsection)

Wow. And to think I’ve erroneously called it ‘Cleveland’ for years.

I guess there are blind spots on these little Carrs.

I just looked over the Deadspin front page and it doesn’t look like they cover football any more. Sorry.

The hilarious thing here is that you think you know what this post is about, and you’re exactly, perfectly wrong.

Snowboarding seems right in Hinkie’s wheelhouse - who else has demonstrated his level of achievement when it comes to careening downhill?

I’ve been writing for Deadspin and The Concourse for literally years. But thanks for paying attention.