So what is going on with the persistent rumor that the Titanic theme represents the end of Jezebel and Gawker? Are you guys really going down?

Scorpions are the worst. If keep seeing them in a recently built house that means the house was built on their path, so no matter how many you kill, more will show up. The only thing you can do then is find and seal every crack in the house, or they’ll keep trying to walk through.

I’m gonna start checking my oven mitts from now on... One time I woke up with a huge one of those sitting on my leg. Under the blanket. It is a feeling like no other and it woke me up.

Not all grown women like crusty old men. I never understood how George Clooney, with his icky gray hair, could be considered attractive. It’s like checking out someone’s grandpa. Di Caprio looks like crap now, but in Romeo and Julliet he was hot.

Because unlike actors, they have zero talent, and unlike real models, they get on the cover simply because of their last name.

Thank you for the best relationship advice I’ve seen in months. And you aren’t even trying to sell me some “Video That Will Make Him Crazy About You!”

I wouldn’t give a shit that someone could see it but blood is hard to wash out and I don’t like stained underwear.

Now you made me want to move to New York.

I’d feel badder for him if he hadn’t fixed the Florida vote to make his brother President. It’s only fair that his kid despises him. It will also be fair Trump’s presidency leads to George P. getting accidentally deported on a suspicion of being Mexican. All it could take is him forgetting his driver’s license and…

All abusers are abuse victims. Which doesn’t mean all victims become abusers.

Don’t mean it as any kind of an excuse, but chances are good that it’s child abuse. No one is born a sociopath, although at some age people have a choice—assuming they know that choice exists and it wasn’t all they had ever known

That sounds like an underage-person job. Possibly two or three, doing it “just for fun.” Adults that are into that kind of thing usually moved on to human victims, or at least dogs and/or family members. I doubt this person(s) are older than 16. Hope they get caught.

If she she stops, people will eat her alive. Was she even 18 when her mom signed them up for reality TV?

Dumb trends always existed. They just weren’t as noticeable or digitally immortalized. One thing the Internet has done is expose different generations to each other. And face it—grown ups never like what teenagers are doing. Even the 20-year-old grown ups. Its been like that since at least the Ancient Rome.

I’m sure India is a fine country. But I grew up in that overall region and I’d rather get shot than ever go back.

Sia gets a lot of crap for covering her face, but the truth is, she made it big at around age 40—and she kinda looks it. Do you know many pop stars that aren’t young and hot? It wouldn’t have mattered how well she could sing—she’d be judged too old and ugly to get anywhere. I think she’s found a pretty genius way to…

Because pregnancy is a health condition where the parents can act against the interests of their child—because of their backwards religious beliefs.

There places in the world where “white” people are second-class citizens, but U.S. is not one of them. Trust me. European-Americans that talk about being “targets of racism” have no idea what that means.