starring this because out of all the “no, U shut the fuck up” comments this is the best one

He feels shame, you see, because the Secret Service aborted the trip.

I treat every trip to Walmart like a raid - you get in, do violence on the objective and get the fuck out, you stick to the list, don’t make eye contact and do your best to ignore the fat fucktard with the Glock on his hip in frozen foods.

He’s right about people in general, not just golfers. They don’t think ahead while in line. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a TSA security line and half the people walk up to the podium and only then start pulling out their ID and boarding pass. Or they don’t get out the credit card at the store until all…

“am honestly surprised to report that the noise-canceling microphones actually work really well. “ - Why would you be surprised? Bose has been making excellent noise cancelling headphones for 10+ years. I am no Bose fanboy but maybe ease up on the misplaced snark.  

Super valuable insight from Mr never flies more than four hours over here...

LIST THE GODDAMNED PRICE OF THINGS ON THE GODDAMNED MENU. If not, I’m going to continue to sit there with your cocktail lists asking, “And how much is this one? And how much is that one? Oh, you don’t know—can you find out?” That’s not a better situation for anyone. Unless you’ve got something that’s dependent on the m…

Trying to shame her for these things is ludicrous.

So you agree, the police do a horrible job catching the criminals that are not Black. It’s like, if you put a bunch of precincts in an area, the cops will find a bunch of criminals around them but never search too far away.
You love police so much, why aren’t there police precincts or annexes in suburban communities? 

If you don’t have any family friendly triathlon jokes, I’m afraid I’m just going to have to ask you to leave.  

The triathlon part, mostly.  

Well see, that’s where I disagree.  

Sure, says triathlon right there!  

That was a triathlon joke

No one ever said switching to triathlons was easy.  RIP

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

how about we officially change the meaning of the word so that the trump card always loses...?

45 only cares that his name is up on buildings and he’s getting paid for it. His name is the most important thing to him.

Is unseen work the part where you steal other peoples work and claim it as your own?

Maybe you should read more labels :) You can store your pickles out of the fridge "As long as there not opened" Once open, they are in effect contaminated by the air, and probably your finger, so they WILL go bad, depending on the temp, as to the speed that happens.