Yes you've really captured the pithy spirit of a veteran Deadspin commenter.

First Traci Lords, then Jenna Jameson, and now this guy?

Boo Sea Hawks!!

Here are some jokeless punch lines you are free to borrow

Boo Seahawks!!!

Wait, in San Francisco a 12 is someone who can toilet top for both watersport and scat bottoms, I assume it's the same thing in Seattle?

Go Redskins!

Kick in the door sippin' the 44

An oldie but a goodie +1

Yea these posts have negative utility.

In the Palestinian newspapers the headline read "Bris referee intentionally gives AIDS to three babies in baskets"

Wait, I'm confused. That movie quote is about land that's useless, past its prime, used up and full of noxious chemicals but I don't see anything about A-Rod in the whole post.

You win this whole fucking post. I love the people who can follow a one level troll, but can't understand that someone could be trolling the troll.

The last football pot story I found interesting involved Ricky Williams, a quarter ounce blunt and a helmet with an extremely dark visor.

I'm starting to agree with you, this comments section is fucking terrible.

Isn't your username a joke about child rape?

PS: I will never like December 31. I will never like this day. True New Years Eve revelers know what I mean.

+1, hilarious

A joke in bad taste about a recent tragedy on Deadspin? Alert the authorities.

Hold on, about to organize a pickup game of tackle football so I can forget reading this post.