Just-world-fallacy. They need to find a way to blame you for your misfortune so that they can tell themselves it couldn't have happened to them. It's always transparent, and it's always pathetic.

In a less dramatic fashion, I feel I've been on both sides of that coin already. Nothing quite as self-destructive as addiction, but self-sabotage, certainly. You keep hitting your head against the same wall and there's nothing anyone else can do but watch and hope you'll snap yourself out of it eventually. And I've…

The hero of my early twenties was Musil's Man Without Qualities. Alas, it's easy enough to be intellectually flexible if you can tell yourself you've got no skin in the game (massive amounts of privilege certainly help in that regard; all things considered, I more or less have those, being white, cis, middle class,…

I don't either (who would, really?), but I might be a bit more sceptical about my own ability to judge what's what and prefer to err on the side of compassion.

I have a lot of sympathies for all kinds of addictions; I think people with addictions should get better health care and they shouldn't be harrassed by the law and I'd be willing to pay higher taxes to fund that. But the help I'd be willing to extend in person is very limited and I generally make sure to keep a safe…

Sh, not everything is about you. (Because everything is about me.) But if the shoe fits…

I always parse CBT as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and I've immediately deleted the memory of its alternative meaning.

That's what reliably gets my goat about those "Don't tell me about your problems if you don't want to hear solutions"-types. If I don't want to hear your solutions, chances are they're facile bullshit I've already dismissed for a reason and I'm insulted by your idea that I couldn't have thought of those myself.

I'm starting a new job in September (only part time, and only till next April for the moment; but with a fair chance of being kept longterm). My dad's reaction: "Didn't they think you were overqualified? But you'll keep applying to other things, won't you?"

Or maybe you're just picky. Lots of people don't really get a lot out of sex outside of meaningful longterm relationships. And meaningful longterm relationships are notorously hard to come by.

You know what you want - not just sex, but also intimacy - and that already puts you ahead of a couple of people I could name… I've long felt that not really knowing what one wants (or not allowing yourself to be honest about it) is one of the key things that holds people back in this regard, so that's already a good…

I hope this ketamine thing works out for you!

Oh, I definitely think you can say homoromantic, if you understand romantic in the Byronic "mad, bad, and dangerous to know"-sense. Nobody says romance has to be emotionally healthy. "Love" may be patient, kind, selfless, etc., but romance isn't necessarily. It's usually a bit more and a bit less than love.

I'm very fond of this movie, but I know that in real life, I would have been one of the roadies and I would have thoroughly loathed the whole experience and developed a life-long grudge against that teacher. Some things just work better (or only) in fiction.

The thing that irks me so about is that it would take the person in question just a moment of self-reflection ("Am _I_attracted to any woman just because she seems nice enough?") to see why there's nothing particularly baffling about the combination at all.

The point of the onion article I commented upon was that the girl in question had a shitty personality, and my point was that the guy in the article would have little right to complain since other things were clearly more important to him.

The German term would be "Fachidiot". The. Worst.

It's a problematic discoursive strategy, not just because it's insulting, but also because it's such a derail. When I tell guys they're being unhelpful, I always make sure to stress how I'm sure they're having the best intentions, it's just that those intentions are not particularly relevant to me right now. (I…

Well, if the good cooking is the only thing you picked your partner for, people probably won't have too much sympathy for you whining about their personality either. Women are certainly called shallow when they value men primarily for the regular income they provide, so you see, it's not just about the looks.

Yeah, it's tricky, because what some people are going to take away is the implication that you think _they_'d want to fuck you, which might embarrass them if true (and they thought they were doing a good job at hiding it), and rankle them if not. It's a bit presumptive to reject an offer before it has been extended.