Thank you for this article, but it needs more Zipper Merge:

Whenever I’m at some music venue that has flyers for a “90s-Themed” party, I swear it’s always like, “remember Britney Spears, N’Sync, and Third Eye Blind?” and I’m all, “remember there were other years in the 90s before 1998?”

Hot Take of the Day Because I Don’t Want To Do Work Anymore:

less human mouths, not more.

You are definitely missing something here: The part where no one said the child was returned to the home.

DAs have press conferences for high-profile investigations.  This isn’t ground-breaking or in any way grandstanding.

Roger?

Orrrrrrr .... maybe there are people leaving comments here, implying that they don’t seem to grasp why the DA’s hands are tied and are shitting on them instead of the parents?

I’m confused at what you think they’re supposed to do, and how you think the law works??

They’ve been investigating this for over a month.

Seriously thought that was Stone Gossard when I first scrolled down.

My friend, I came here looking for a Ned Yost reference, and you did not disappoint!

I don’t like the shoulder stripes, and I wish the helmet logo was the 70s/80s version, but I’m far from staking my claim on hating these jerseys while there are still aesthetic atrocities like the Cardinals, Falcons and ... ugghhh the Buccaneers still lurking around. The monster created by the ‘97 Broncos needs to be…

https://youtu.be/2tSIZLuCKUI

unfollow.

...and Steve Jobs cosplayer...

Yes. Let’s not forget the real victims in this story: People who maybe are kind of liking John Dorsey’s moves. Thoughts and prayers TimCouchFanatic. 

Lol, r u a fukin Mormon?

So now it sounds like it’s actually his fiancé that’s suspected? ‘Reek, as the father, is only an “involved party” and has been out of the country?