First of all, Hannibal Buress is amazing and I'm madly in love with him! Second of all, when I saw the word "smuggest" I momentarily thought it was a portmanteau of "smug" and "suggest." Like if somebody goes, "You'd get taken more seriously if you pulled up your pants," you go, "Nice smuggestion, asshole."
Have a weird week coming up. My 26th birthday on Tuesday, blind date tomorrow night. Any advice? My first one, ever!
And I think people on the other side of the fence are objectively fucking wrong, not to mention homophobic pieces of shit. Fuck anyone opposed to marriage equality.
And it's not like I'm a huge fan of her new music. I like her best when she's bordering on bluegrass. But the phrase "calculating as fuck" made me furious. Justin Timberlake had done every type of music known to God and Man and has all kinds of promotional deals and new producers to sell albums. Do we call him…
Seriously. It is like the same hatred people throw at Anne Hathaway, "she tries too hard". Yet when dudes try too hard to the point of craziness at their jobs (Daniel Day-Lewis, Prince, etc), we celebrate them. Women, however, must pretend they just accidentally are great at stuff.
I know it's probably heretical to say, but Taylor Swift seems calculating as fuck.
how can there even be a company secret
I actually laughed— repeatedly!— whilst watching last night. I can't remember the last time that happened!
GUYS. I had a horrible day. My doggie got out last night, and my SO and I spent all of last night and today pasting up posters and calling vets/shelters/etc. It's cold and raining, and she's elderly and on medication. I came home after searching for her for 11 hours, and cried myself to sleep on the couch.
I'm running my first half marathon tomorrow and am excited and a little terrified! I lost 80 pounds two years ago and made a resolution (so corny) to do this run. I know I am physically ready, but still battle some of that old negative self-talk every now and then. Anyway - woo hoo!
Nothing helps a person in need like the consistent publishing of the ongoing details of their downfall.
I've always liked, 'I was taken unexpectedly drunk.'
YOU STAY IN THE WHITE PEOPLE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE
You're right! I'm totally calling for the suspension of free speech. That's 100% why I said the Federal government should make a law banning those professors from being dicks. CAUGHT ME.
I don't have the kitchen for tamale making, but there is a really great place right by our house (we kind of live in what people euphemistically refer to as a "transitional neighborhood," but we just call it "Hell yeah we are close to the breakfast tacos") that we order from every Christmas. We pick them up Christmas…
The first boy I ever kissed and my first "real" boyfriend broke up with me via AIM AWAY MESSAGE. He couldn't even be bothered to IM me himself and he put it up for everyone to see. The mid 2000s were a rough time to date.
I thought it was for people who woke up late and didn't want sandwiches.
Please stop reporting that Walmart blamed Tracy Morgan for his own injuries. Any defendant in a personal injury suit is required to plead its affirmative defenses when it answers the complaint. Contributory negligence is an affirmative defense that is used by defendants to mitigate damages. It has been recognized for…
And that was just a wizz palace. This is a whole Wiz Khalifa.