Ugh. Will no one ever shut up with the "do assassin's creed in medieval Japan"!? Listen: That game you're describing? It's been released 30 times already. It was called Ninja Gaiden. And Red Ninja. And Tenchu. And Mark of the Ninja. And Shinobido. Here, look up some more for yourself:

I prefer that all forms at least mildly arouse.

Have you heard the theory that Superman actually has a neck-to-toes blue tattoo, with an added "S" on his chest?

I want to see women wearing bikini armor. I quite like being sexually aroused. It is a pleasurable state and I prefer pleasure to the alternative. I prefer things that are visually interesting rather than ones that are not.

Good to see that Glenn Beck's Guy Fieri-fication is proceeding apace.

Yes, I would want to know. I've already thought ahead about this and am planning to elect against spending any time in a nursing home. I will instead be opting for 3 whiskeys and 15 vicodin while Hank Williams plays. I had figured that maybe doing this around my 75th birthday would be a good arbitrary benchmark but if…

Oh noes!! The latest re-skin of The Game Where You Bounce Around An Urban Environment and Kill People will fail to deliver a meaningless little fraction of graphical improvement!

Somebody is going to drop their Oculus Rift. The casing will crack open and it will be revealed that inside is a Nintendo Virtua Boy.

That probably sounded smarter to you than it did to anyone else.

I know Wildstar is supposed to be a cartoon-y, over-the-top-styled game and that's fine.

2nd and last seem to support rather than contradict my theory.

Just in the past 2 months, a LOT of old tech went out the door via Amazon and Ebay for me. My PS1 and all it's games, my PS2 and all it's games, my PSP and all it's games, my Xbox and it's one remaining game (Dragon Age, if you must know), my 2008-era desktop's remaining components, my iPhone 3G. All that's left from…

I dunno, seems to me like all that's for sale outside the independents is 25 re-skins of "Creep around an urban environment and kill people."

There are several categories that are becoming more and more parodies of themselves:

'Cause kendo is a sport, not a form of warfare?

I have tried an Oculus Rift. Shittiest thing ever.

Yeah . . . we've played this game already. It was called Dishonored. And Thief. And Watch Dogs. And Assassins Creed. And Assassins Creed 2. And 3. And 4. And Infamous. And Mass Effect. And Uncharted. And Sleeping Dogs. And Prince of Persia.

Maybe. But expand your imaginative frame here a little: So you start your cruise ship/nation and you're at sea with your gold and Bitcoins and your armed guards. Just you and them. Out in international waters. Yup.

Hitlers, HITLERS I SAY!!

People who unnecessarily use "literally" are Hitlers.