Vince Wilfork: Out (Ribs)

"Sometimes in life, you gotta go to the bathroom." -Ben Roethlisberger

"Sometimes in life, you get stabbing pains in your sides. That's probably just cramps from lack of potassium." - Ray Lewis

"Stepan was injured when Montreal Canadiens forward Brandon Prust hit him 2:48 into the first period. Stepan left the game and had X-rays taken, but they did not reveal the injury."

a broken jaw that doesn't show up on x-ray.. fascinating.

Being a Bruins fan doesn't make you racist; but if you're a hockey fan who's racist, you're most likely a Bruins fan.

That is correct. I believe that attempting (and apparently failing) to teach you the difference between the directions "backward" and "sideways" makes ME look like a much bigger dick, and that is why I am continuing to do it.

It is still an incomplete analysis.

Boston: Not as racist as you think, but yeah still pretty racist.

Breaking: The Rockets have traded James Harden and a future first round pick for Nic Batum's dog.

Tied with Germany...LOL.

This lawsuit has EVERYTHING.

I'm also from Philadelphia

"If he dies, he dies."

That flag will come down sooner than expected when Chris Kreider crashes his car into it on an off day.

"The NHL's Gratingest Call."

Pictured: the guy they might draft

Carol Burnett would be rolling over in her grave if she wasn't wearing limited-mobility curtain rod shoulder pads.

"The difference between an elite goaltender and an outright bad one really isn't that huge."

Well, I guess then the Rangers will know how it feels after they got away with a bunch of sticks to Crosby's head in the previous round.....

This isn't what I come to DadPenis for.