This article must have been written in a universe that lacks i.i.d random variables.

By any statistic, advanced or not - goals, assists, points per game, +/, win shares, corsi, or fenwick - Toews cannot hold Crosby's decades-old dirty jock strap. Toews is a nice defensive forward and among the better playmakers in the NHL, but he is not at the top. Sadly, your uninformed opinion does not count as a…

He overcame that horrible 0-3 record that he inherited and they finished with the 13th best record "on the league". I bet you were one of the smartest kids in school because your GPA was 130th out of 300.

Considering this guy is the brains of the operation, I'd say the sky's the limit!

But then we wouldn't get to see him in the playoffs!

Pronger is a no doubt Hall of Famer...

Toews is the reigning Selke winner (it is 2014 right?), and he's still better defensively than Bergeron. Also, last I checked Pavel Datsyuk (and his 3 Selkes) is still alive and better than Bergeron at everything (minus faceoffs). Don't get me wrong Bergeron is a great forward, but there are better in the league,…

You are wrong - he had one shot.

There was no booing of Crosby during Game 5. You wanted to write a story about one of the best players in the league not scoring in 10 playoff games and manufactured a fake reason to do so. Please leave Deadspin for good.

It's true - besides those many playing years in which Mario HAD CANCER and UNRETIRED TWICE, his stats were never dragged down.

Important question - where all the wight women at?

I didn't bookmark anything. I just remembered how much of an absolute retard you were and, obviously, still are.

So, "spiralbears", about those Red Wings and their Bruin dominance. How exactly does Milan Lucic's ass taste? I'm sure there are some Deadspin writers who would like to know.

Magic Johnson...said yesterday that he won't attend any Clippers games

What is....the New Edition reunion tour?

Kill yourself

Me : If we're considering his 5 on 5 playoff performance...

"The Penguins still play arrogant off of a Cup win five years ago, which in the NHL, is ancient history."

If we're considering his 5 on 5 playoff performance (and we are), then it is not a small sample because IT IS THE ENTIRE POPULATION of data. The remainder of your points are completely valid.

Just to be clear, Alabama is NOT a world-class university...