How many astronauts do you think have looked down on the planet and thought, “I’ll bet someone down there is masturbating right now”?

Translation: We’re here to help you sleep!

Since Arch Warhammer is objectively a dickhead, I fail to see the problem here.

Nothing can stop the pizza rat!

Constitutional Law is a hell of a drug...

Rectal Ouroboros.

To be fair, you could dig up Captain Kangaroo’s decaying corpse, prop it up in a chair at #10, and it would be a better Prime Minister than Johnson is likely to be.

“The Lord of Boners”

Only Flamin’ Hot Doritos are true.

Fuck, I’m not stoned enough for this shit...

What, no Devil’s Crush?

What, no Devil’s Crush?

YES PLZ.

Dammit Hasbro, why do you want my money so badly?!

Hey, if I were driving around in a stolen car full of weapons, rattlesnakes, and uranium, I’d need a drink too.

Add some tentacles, market it in Japan, and you’ll be a billionaire!

I don’t care if you’re a turtle, you can’t do that in public!

When I first played JTS back in the day, I remember recognizing the game from the Nintendo Power screenshot showing its earlier incarnation as The Terminator.